Returned..... Different

Chapter 2 (since I suck so bad at titles)

Jason's pov

I read up on PTSD and apparently you can't make sudden moves or loud noises or it sets it off and makes her have flashbacks. I don't want her to ever relive what happened at war. I wish there was a cure. Something I could do to help her with it. I move the laptop when she wakes up. "Hey hun sleep well?" "Better than I have in while." She says, sitting up. "Whatcha doin'?" I smile. "Research. I'm learning everything I need to know." I kiss her, her hands on my shoulders. She gets on her knees, deepening the kiss. A knock at the door makes her body tense up. "It's okay baby. Just someone at the door." "I.... Yeah... I know." She sits back on the bed and I go answer the door. It's Sierra and Rachel. Her best friends from before she left. "Is it true? Is she home?" I nod. I'm about to tell them no sudden noises but Rachel screams her name. "Stop it! You can't yell like that. It'll freak her out." "Oh. Oops sorry." She comes downstairs and gasps in surprise. "Surprise, home girl! It's been way too long! Shots of tequila on the house!" Sierra cries. She laughs nervously. "I don't shoot tequila anymore girls." I stare at her surprised. Just another thing different about her. Rachel and Sierra stare at her surprised too.

*later*

Me and her were sitting on the couch when Rachel and Sierra had to leave. I wave and wrap and arm around her. "I guess I'm not the only one who changed." She whispers. "Are you okay?" I ask, worried. "Yeah. It's just weird seeing people I watched die in my nightmares." That sends a chill down my back. I gulp. I wonder if she.... Saw me.... Die in her nightmares. I'm too afraid to ask. "If you ever wanna talk about anything ya know vent or somethin', you know you can always come to me." "It's really hard to talk about." She mumbles, cuddling closer to me. "You don't have to. I'm just saying if you want to you can." I lace my fingers with hers and run my other hand over her cheek, kissing her. It's so great to do that again. It's been so long. Suddenly tears are in her eyes. "I watched her die Jason. Over and over. It was never ending." She whimpers, balling. "Watched who die, baby?" I ask, holding her as she cries against my chest. "Sierra, Rachel, mama, daddy, everyone I cared about. But the worst... The hardest death.... The reason I kept fighting was you Jason. You. It was the worst pain I've ever felt seeing you die....." "I'm not dead hun, none of us are dead. We're all okay. There's no need to worry." "I know. It was just.... So..... Horrible so frightening. But seeing your face again knowing you're okay made me so glad to still be alive." By now she's sobbing uncontrollably and I have no idea what to do so I just hold her. "There were days.... When I begged for death.... It was just so horrible." My God! She wanted to die! She was so miserable over there. I'm just glad she's home. I hug her tighter, tears threatening to spill over. "I'm never letting you go back." I whisper, kissing her again. Her eyes get wide. "Jason, you know if they call me back, I have to go." "No you don't baby. You can't go back. You're my baby girl and I want to protect you, keep you safe from that twisted world over there that's threatening to tear you apart." A tear slips from her eye. "Oh don't start cryin' baby, cause if you start cryin' I'll start cryin' and we'll both be such a mess." She smiles. "I love you Jason." "I love you too baby doll." She touches my scruff. "You lettin' your beard grow out, baby?" I smile. "It's been a few days, hasn't it." "Don't shave it. I like it this way." She whispers, flirtatiously. We start making out, then her hand moves toward my belt. I grab her arms and kiss her again, laying her down on the couch. I gently hold her hands down while kissing her. "L-Let go of my arms!" I quickly pull back. "Sorry baby.... Are you okay?" "Yeah you just can't hold me down like that anymore. It'll freak me out." "I'm so sorry hun I won't. I promise." "It's okay it's not your fault." The moment is ruined now by my stupidity. I read up on this! I knew that! I just... Wasn't thinking! Why am I so stupid?! "I'm sorry Jason." I look down at her surprised. "What are you apologizing for?" I gape, confused. "Because of me being all messed up... We can't-" "You hush now baby. You're not messed up. Just different and there ain't nothin' wrong with that. Sometimes different is good." I say, shaking my head. Tears falling down her cheeks. "You really don't think I'm some freak?" "Of course not baby girl." I kiss her again. "Do me Jason. Fucking do me right now." She whispers. I smile and kiss her again. I've never shied away from an invitation when it comes to her and sex and tonight is no exception.