The Remarkable Romez

Chapter One: The Romez Sisters' Tragic (Yet Somewhat Fabulous) Beginning

My life started when I was born, obviously. My parents are Patrizo and Isabella Monty. Mom said that when I was born, I was so beautiful and bright that the nurses who delivered me went blind. Wow, thanks mom. I’ve always wanted to blind people.

I was named Byonca because my parents were at the performance of  ‘Taming of The Shrew’ when my mom started being all dramatic and shrieked at the top of her lungs, “I’m having a baby!”. Apparently, no one really cared—including the actors—so the audience kept watching and the actors kept performing. The box office people rushed my mom to the SimCity hospital where I was born. Dad and mom talked names, and they recalled Bianca, a character in the play that was really cool seeming, so they chose that as my name. A nurse joined us and asked what my name was so she could print a birth certificate. They proudly told her that it was ‘Bianca’, so the nurse smiled and left the room. Unfortunately, either the nurse was dyslexic or my parents had pronounced my name in a weird fashion, as the nurse handed my parents my birth certificate, they frowned, seeing that ‘Bianca’ was spelled ‘Byonca’, with a ‘y’ and ‘o’ as a replacement for the ‘i’ and ‘a’. My dad eyed the nurse evilly and informed her it was spelled incorrectly. She shrugged. “It’s in the database now.” After that incident, my parents planned to change the spelling soon. But day after day after day—the name just stuck.

 When I was three, my parents took me on an exotic trip to Africa, when Mom was pregnant with my little sibling. I obviously don’t remember much since I was so young, except the tour that took us around the desert. The tour guide was really cliché and we had some problems with zebra traffic. As she did before, as we were attending the middle of the tour, Mom freaked out and announced that she was going into labor. Instead of no one showing a care in the world, everyone flipped out like they’d just witnessed a lion ripping off a gazelle’s head. The tour guide guided—get it, because he’s a guide, haha—my mom to a golf cart-like vehicle and got his assistant to drive us to the nearest hospital. Unfortunately, we were in the desert, after all, and the nearest large city was a fourty-five minute trip away, so for time being, it was very unpleasant. All was well when a few minutes after we got to the hospital, my little sister was born. She was named ‘Acacia’ after the acacia tree that we could see in the window of the hospital room.