Wonderwall- (1D/Niall Horan)

Chapter 16

Wowww.  Words can't even begin to express how much all of you mean to me.  Wonderwall has over 10K reads??? Is this real life?  I'd hate to wake up from this if it really was a dream.  Thank you thank you thank you all again!  I'm just going to keep thanking you loves so you better get used to hearing it ;) You need to hear on a daily basis how amazing each and every single one of you are.  

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Well, without any further adieu, here's the latest update loves! Hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to let me know what you think about it by commenting below.  Maybe vote if you like it and/or become a fan? Help me get to 100.  I'm soo close!  There will be a dedication to the nicest comment.  May the loveliest comment win!

Enjoy! :) Xx <3

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Niall’s POV:

“Thank you, Manchester!  We had a great time and good night!” I recalled, hearing Liam’s distant voice far off.

We were all smiling and waving as we exited off stage.  But as soon as I was concealed by the curtains, I dropped the act.

Ever since we left Ghana, I was nothing but a big blob, constantly moping around, drowning in my misery.

When it came to the meet and greets, concerts and interviews, I’d put on this façade, showing that I was nothing but the “happy-go-lucky-Irish lad”.  I’d smile, even joke a bit.  But as soon as we were out of the public eye, I’d retreat to my misery.  And the thing is, once I put up the front that I was okay, I’d even catch myself fully believing it.  I’d actually think I was happy.  I’d think I was okay.  And then I’d actually start to feel okay.  But then I’d remember that this was just a cover-up, and that it was all for the public.

I didn’t want our fans to see me like this otherwise they’d question why and who was responsible.  Being the loyal, protective fans that they are, they would have attacked Jade with nasty, hurtful words.  Although she was indeed the reason for my heartbreak, I didn’t want to be the reason why she’d be bullied by our fans and receive hate mail.  Even though it hurt with every aching bone in my body to think about her and what she did to me, I still didn’t want to wish any harm upon her whatsoever.

I proceeded to walk down the hallways and corridors back stage towards our dressing room.  I’d hear people congratulating us on a ‘great job’ and what a ‘good show we had’ as we’d pass by.  I’d nod and smile politely.  But their voices were muffled and barely audible.  It was as if I was consumed by a fog and focusing solely on my sadness as the people around me tried to communicate and interact with me.  The fog would gargle their words and distort their faces, making them turn askew.

We finally arrived at our dressing room after the agonizingly long maze.  As soon as we entered our room, I made a bee line for the platter of food splayed out for us.  I took up a spot on the sofa, planting myself there as I devoured the food before me, hungrily.  It wasn’t even the fact that I hadn’t eaten or was starved.  I was eating solely because I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions.  They were becoming too much.  And I was fighting for control.  So I thought of the only way I knew how to, the best way to, eating my emotions, finding comfort in their taste as my senses were wrapped up in them, hoping they’d take my mind off of my current state.

The sweet juices of the fruit gushed in my mouth as my taste buds became overwhelmed with the sensation.  I don’t even recall what I was shoving into my mouth, only the fact that I had to keep eating.  So I continued to shovel handfuls upon handfuls of food into my mouth.