Big thank-you to my new followers as well as the ones that have stuck by me! Over 11K reads, 4 votes away from 600 and 2 clicks away from 110 fans! I'm opening my arms as wide as they can right now so I can embrace all of you in this giant hug I'm sending out. :') Keep spreadin' the word, loves! Just want to warn you though, this chapter is a bit short and may even be considered a filler. But I still like it. Hope you enjoy it! Oh, and I thought I'd try and finish writing the last couple chapters but I'm just not feeling anything I write these days. It just seems so blehh. So, if you can, please be patient with me, loves. I've got massive plans for the end and am just waiting for inspiration to hit. But when it does, you won't be disappointed. i really want the ending to be epic so until i feel like I can write something good for you guys, something proper, then I'll be able to update. So, please hang in there loves!
Here's, Chapter 18. Enjoy!
May the Loveliest Comment win!
Xx <3
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Niall's POV:
Here we were. Back on the plane, waiting for it to take off. We were off to another location for the tour again. I had quickly receded to the confinement of the plane once we were just outside the door, but the rest of the boys had hung back, waving to fans, saying their goodbyes. Today had been tough with interviews, meetings and everything in between; trying to keep up my forced smile and happy demeanour had been a real challenge. And lately, it just seemed like my breaking point was becoming closer and closer within reach. And I don’t know how much longer I could take.
Even the boys would have to cover for me from time to time as I’d find myself frowning or if my smile was unapparent. I was grateful to have them. They’d managed to quickly change subjects in interviews or while meeting fans, swiftly providing a distraction while I managed to recover; well, tried to at least.
I sat there, staring out at the tarmac, looking at the fans and the boys happily interacting with them, signing and taking pictures. My heart ached, wishing to be out there with them but I just couldn’t take any more of that for today. It was too much. So with that, I hid from view and pulled the cover down for the window. I numbly pulled my phone out of my pocket to check out the latest updates. I wanted to keep myself occupied and thought it’d help as a distraction to keep my mind off other things, mainly my current state of mind.
My fingers mindlessly scrolled through my phone. Soon enough, I found myself scrolling and scanning through my pictures, reminiscing. However, there was a specific one that seemed to catch my eye. At a first glance, I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating or imagining it. So I clicked on the picture to see if I could confirm my assumptions.
There. It. Was. I nearly dropped my phone at the sight before me. My heart stopped momentarily, palpitating a bit, trying to recover from my minor heart attack. I sat there, frozen in place, holding my phone in my lap, unmoving, save for my shaky breath entering and escaping my body. It panged my heart to see that moment in time captured. There she was. Looking as beautiful as ever with the sun streaming behind her and the elephant we had met residing beside her. I saw the way her eyes crinkled slightly at the corners while she squinted happily. I had completely forgotten I had taken it.
Seeing that picture instantly took me back to that one blissful day of many. My heart swelled with regret as I reminisced over the joyful memories we had shared that day on our roadside jeep adventure; going to the market place, the bet we had waged, seeing her so happy and full of life. The plan the guys and I created to win her heart over.
As if I was watching a mini movie or slideshow play before me, all of those fleeting moments ran through my mind, blurring and colliding together. From the very first time we met to all of those heavenly moments we shared together and everything in between.
And then… there was that… that awful night….Where it all ended and fell apart, shattering into pieces, and crumbling into fine dust before me. Everything that I had worked so hard for, to get her, had been washed away by her cruel words. And I couldn’t do a single thing about it. I couldn’t change her mind or help her think otherwise. I was helpless. Hopeless. Weak. Vulnerable. I was nothing. I am nothing and no one now because the one girl, the one person that mattered to me doesn’t have a care in the world for me.
Cruel, bitter thoughts viciously continued to attack me from the inside out as I sat there, succumbing to my sadness. But then another thought occurred to me as I sat there, continuing to stare at the picture. There she was, glowing with happiness, radiating contentment. The thing was, seeing her so happy in this picture, in that moment, managed to put a smile on my face, wiping me of my current state. She was just so… beautiful. And if there was a more eloquent way to describe her beauty, believe me, I would. But for lack of better words, I’ll just stick with beautiful for now. Seeing her smile reminded me of her joyful laughter. It was like I could almost hear the tin, joyous ring of it in my ears, causing me to break out into an even bigger grin.
And with the memory of her laughter still ringing in my ears, I wasn’t conscious of it until I became acutely aware of my actions. My fingers mindlessly scrolled over my settings. And with the click of a button, her smiling face was now my lock screen.
Although it pained me to do so and although it opened up scarring wounds of the past, I couldn’t think of any better way to be greeted than by her smiling face. It helped me differentiate between what she was on that day and the person that broke my heart; separating the good from the bad. What she was: joy, laughter, light and smiles, and what she wasn’t: pain, suffering and grief. I vowed to myself right then and there that the one I witnessed, no, the one that made me experience pain first-hand by breaking my heart would be locked up for good, only making appearances from time to time. I swore to anchor that person to the deep, dark depths of my heart so they wouldn’t think of resurfacing any of those unkind feelings that accompanied them. I wanted all of the bitter, forsaken parts that I associated with her from that night to fall away, so I could remember the blissful time we shared and who the person I had developed feelings for. I wanted to be reminded by her smiling face of her charismatic beauty and the poise she held. It just made everything that much more bearable and chased away the darkness that loomed inside my mind. So whenever, I’d have to check the time or roam about on my phone, she’d be right there, waiting for me, smiling right back at me.
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Love you all dearly, as always Xx <3
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Wonderwall- (1D/Niall Horan)
أدب الهواةA girl who has just figured out what she wants to do with her life. She yearns to travel the globe; taste what the world has to offer; her hands are outstretched toward the feeling of utter and complete happiness knowing she is where she is supposed...
