Wonderwall- (1D/Niall Horan)

Chapter 15

Hey there loves! Wowww! I cannot believe it.  Almost 100 fans, 10 000 reads, 400 comments and 500 votes!! Someone pinch me!  I know I say this time and time again but I really want you lot to know how much I love and appreciate every single one of you.  All of you are my motivation to strive better and to make this story as good as I can! :D  So keep the reads, votes, fans and comments comin'! And continue to spread the word, loves! :)

Also, I came across a really cool thing.  I saw that someone posted on my best friend, @fictionalchase's ask box and directed a question towards her main character, Andy, from her fanfic Andy On My Mind.  (PS go check out her story if you haven't already!)So if you loves have any questions or comments, or want to ask Jade anything about what she's done, etc. ask away! I think it'd actually be really cool and neat if you did.  Ask on http://rescyo-u.tumblr.com and maybe give it a cheeky follow if you like )

Thirdly! I've made a playlist if you loves want to have a listen while you read this chapter :) Or if you simply just want to check it out after or before, etc. go on right ahead! Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&list=PLtmhtw0I5d_97WGespng7K-C11xd-HyIP&feature=mh_lolz

Lastly, here's the next update.  Don't forget to vote, comment, maybe even become a fan? :) May the loveliest comment win! Enjoy loves! Xx

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I lay there on my bed, motionless as I continued to stare up at the ceiling.  My phone was plugged into my dock and continued to play music.  I had just been laying there for an immeasurable amount of time, wallowing and weeping in my own sorrow when the song came on.  It could not have been a more heart-wrenching, painfully beautiful song that both understood my pain but it also kept me in it.  As it continued to play I sang my bloody heart out, pouring every single ounce of pain into the song, finding some release until I felt completely numb and empty.  Leaving myself emotionless along with my already immobile state.  Letting my regret eat away at me from the inside out, consuming me until I felt like nothing and no one.  Letting the walls stare down at me, disgusted with what I had done.  Thinking it despicable.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

As I sang those words, I was struck with the realization that Mike Rosenburg could not have said it more perfectly.  He could not have flawlessly described my current state any more than he just did.  As the song continued on and my voice became hoarse as I wailed each word, I couldn’t help but feel my heart break every time the chorus came around and these words were sung:

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

And the thing was, even though it didn’t exactly describe what I was going through, I could still empathize and feel the pain ooze into the shell of my heart.  He hadn’t exactly let me go.  I had been the one to let him go.  I made him let me go.  I made him forget me.  I was the one that forced it upon his own hand.  I was the one to blame for all of my sadness.  I was the one to let him go.  Gratefully, the song ended though.  I thought I’d be able to recover as I lay there.  But my sadness thought better of it as yet another song played, deepening my pit of heartache.

There was this dull, gnawing ache in my chest that refused to leave me be.  It was like an incessant shadow, always following me, never leaving me to my own solitary and solitude.  Another wave of sadness consumed me as the chords to Kevin Daniel’s song, ‘Guarded’ began to play.  And just as I thought my wailing had subsided, more erupted from within me, shattering the bones inside of me.