The Movie Writes Real Life

Dude, I just PWNed Ghostface!

Since their friends wouldn’t be there for a while, Mark started playing Left 4 Dead in his living room and Lindsey wandered to the guest bedroom. She started setting things up the way she wanted them, and mentally prepared herself for the fact that she might not even make it through the night.

Her cell phone sat on the desk, right next to her suitcase and she wondered if it might ring. This would be the perfect time to terrorize her, she was all alone and secluded from most of the rest of the world. As if reading her thoughts, her phone buzzed violently, making her jump. The call was from restricted.

“You have perfect timing,” She snapped into the phone.

“I’ll have perfect timing when I-“

“Let me guess… cut a bitch? The bitch being me of course. You’re terrible at death threats, it’s rather pathetic,” Lindsey said. She didn’t feel too scared anymore, because whoever this was didn’t seem to know what they were doing.

“Listen to me you little whore, this isn’t a joke. You and all your friends will be swimming in your own blood tonight, understand?” Ghostface yelled.

“No you listen, you pathetic little excuse for a horror villain. I know more about this genre than you could ever wish to.  I know the rules, I know how it works. You die, I live. Understand?” She asked back.

“If you know so much, why don’t we try our hand at a little game? You answer the questions correctly, or I kill the next person I see,” Ghostface offered. Lindsey laughed.

“If I didn’t think I would win, I’d tell you to keep a mirror handy.”

“First question. What was Wes Craven’s inspiration for Freddy Krueger?” Ghostface asked.

“Well it depends on whether you’re asking about the inspiration for his powers or the inspiration for the character himself,” Lindsey pointed out.

“The powers are too easy, how about the character himself?”

“Well there was a kid named Fred who bullied Wes when he was younger. And then there was a man that Wes saw standing outside his window. He smiled at Wes with a kind of sick joy that he was scaring this little kid. Freddy had that kind of joy while killing children and a very unsympathetic background story, making him a rather viscous villain,” Lindsey explained quickly.

“Take that much time again and I’m not even going to bother with the questions, I’ll just kill. Question two, what kind of car is Christine?”

“While Stephen King must have gotten his facts mixed up while describing the car, I’m going to go with what was said and not seen. It was a 1958 Plymouth Fury,” Lindsey said.

“Name 5 horror films that came out in 1981.”

“The Funhouse, Graduation Day, The Burning, My Bloody Valentine, and introducing an iconic horror figure, Friday the 13th Part Two,” Lindsey said, feigning boredom.

“Who provided the voice of the demon that possessed Regan in The Exorcist?”

“Mercedes McCambridge,” She answered, “Are you finished? Because this is slightly embarrassing.”

“How about we get more modern? Who stars in the American remake of a Japanese film, Pulse?”

“Veronica Mars and Damon Salvatore. Or, the answer you probably want, Kristen Bell and Ian Somerholder.”

“What throwback to-“

“Hatchet, The House of the Devil, Piranha? I’m owning your shit right now, you might wanna quit. And you don’t have to warn me, I know. Tonight I die and it’ll be gory and you have a knife, blah blah blah. Goodbye now.”