Sarah Smiles

Do You Know What I'm Seeing?

Saturday afternoon

I am currently at Ryan's house, trying to fit into one of her tight dresses. I know that my mom said to dress appropriately, but I don't really care about her stupid protocol. She's just being ridiculous with her over the top rules and regulations.

"I don't think this is going to fit." I struggle once more to tug on the dress as Ryan watches me, and snickers as I fall to the floor in a heap of defeat. "Shut up and get me a different fucking outfit." I laugh throwing the dress at her and laying on my back in my undergarments.

"Someone's a feisty tiger, now isn't she?" Ryan chuckles, turning on her heel and walking into her closet, grabbing a knee length, black and white striped dress that flows out at the hips. It's stunning, and I have to do a double take to make sure I'm not seeing things.

My eyes widen and I sit up straight. "I thought you would like it." Ryan smiles and tosses me the dress. "It never fit me anyways . . ." she trails off. Something pokes out of the neckline and I roll my eyes.

"It still has the tag on it and it's exactly my size. You did not buy me a brand new dress! Ryan Chum you are quite the best friend . . . Now I have to pay you back!" I squeal as I slide into the dress. It fits perfectly. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to protest, but a knock on the door interrupts her.

"Tanner has arrived!" He says as he walks in. "Nice dresses, girls!" He looks over at me with a wide toothed smile. I smile back and give him a hug. He's wearing a dark blue polo and khakis, he looks like one of those private school kids.

"Remember when we 'dated' in grade 7 because you were trying to convince everyone that you weren't gay?" I laugh and fix his collar. It was a long time ago, but we always keep the memory alive.

"I remember that!" Ryan laughs, "We were the only ones who knew you were gay." She smiles and walks over to us. Tanner and I share a look of amusement and sigh at how foolish we were back then. "Hey guys, It's 4:30 already! We should head out if we want to get dinner before the show." I nod, grabbing my two best friends as we walk down the stairs.

"You three have fun tonight!" Mrs. Chum smiles and blows us all a kiss. She has been in all of our lives since square one, and we would be nowhere without her.

"Will do, mom." We all say in unison. We grab our shoes and run out to the car in bare feet.

"Where to for dinner?" Ryan asks, as she gets into the driver's seat.

Tanner and I exchange a look and yell, "All Star wings!" Ryan laughs and we drive off into the sunset, (I know it's cheesy, but I really wanted to say it. It's also way too early for the sun to set, but let me romanticize!) all excited for the night to come.

Saturday Night

We get to the concert an hour in advance and there's already a line a mile long at the door. "Shit, we should have come earlier." I mutter.

"It's OK. We've got VIP tickets, we can go ahead of everyone else." Tanner grins. Wait, did he seriously not tell me they were VIP tickets until now? What the hell, Tanner? We walk to the front of the line, switching our tickets for lanyards with our names on them. The security guard waves us in and we stand in the lobby shaking with excitement.

"Oh my god! I'm freaking out. Some one pinch me, I must be dreaming!" I scream and fall into Tanner, who gives me a small smile and stands me back up on my own two feet.

"I'm gonna die from excitement!" He squeals along with me.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. If you die now, you won't get to meet Brendon later . . ." Ryan waggles her eyebrows at me and I shoot up into the air. I forgot that's what VIP meant.

"Are you sure I look OK?" I question and spin in a circle for judgement.

"You look fine, Sarah. Calm the fuck down." Ryan and Tanner say together.

*****

The show starts and we are so close to the stage that I swear some of Brendon Urie's sweat splatters on me. I know it sounds gross, but he's my idol, so I don't even care.

"How's everyone fucking doing tonight!?" Brendon yells into his mic, and it looks like he's staring straight at me. People scream, but I'm too stunned to do anything. "How about you, doll? How are you doing?" He is fucking pointing at me now.

I gesture at myself and look around. The only other girl near me is Ryan. Maybe he's looking at her. Her red hair is pretty noticeable.

"Yeah you, front row, brown hair, black and white dress. By the way it looks really sexy on you." He winks at me and I look down at my shoes, blushing harder than I ever have before. I can't believe he's talking to me in front of all of these people.

I turn towards Ryan and she nods at the line of body guards. I approach them and take a breath. "Can you tell him that I'm fine, I guess. Well, fantastic, now that Brendon Urie has acknowledged my existence." I tell one of them, he's thick and tall with virtually no hair. There's a low barking sound that comes from his mouth, and I think it's a laugh, but it's hard to tell.

He gets onto the stage and whispers it into Brendon's ear. Brendon chuckles and turns back to the audience. "Thanks Zach. Let's get back to the music, shall we?" He starts singing Sarah Smiles and I smile so broadly, I'm sure my face will burst.

This time, I know that the song is directed at me. The whole time his eyes are on me and my body starts to shake with extreme anxiety.