Song of Hope

Song of Hope - Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Numb. That is all Austin felt, everything was numb. Yet, he didn’t want to feel anything at all. He didn’t want to remember who Sydney was right now. He didn’t even want to remember who he was right now. That is why he just dropped Lacey off at Tucker and Emma Sue’s and asked them to keep her for a few days. He was going to get wasted!

He could count on one hand the number of times he had consumed alcohol. He never liked to feel out of control and alcohol did that to people, so he rarely drank. Even in college when buddies would go out and drink, he was the designated driver.

The last time he got hammered was the night Sonya died. Like then, he just wanted the pain of Sydney leaving to go away.

He did not believe in public humiliation, so he stopped at a liquor store and purchased some whiskey. ‘A couple bottles should do,’ he thought. He ignored the sales person who asked if he was having a party and listened to the bottles clink all the way home.

Unscrewing the lid to his anesthetic, he didn’t bother getting a glass, he picked the bottle up from the neck and placed the rim to his lips.

Sydney left him.

Swig.

All because he told her that God had never given him anything.

Swig.

Now God had taken the two women he loved away from him.

Swig.

One by death.

Swig.

The other by choice.

Swig.

******

It was late and Sydney finally made it back home. She had stopped at Heather and Blake’s to pick up her things, but Heather could tell she was upset. Sydney ended up staying there for several hours crying her heart out to her friend. Heather did what any true friend would do, she sent Blake out for chocolate and ice cream and held Sydney while she cried. Then they binged and thought of all the reasons Sydney made the right decision.

Now all Sydney wanted was a hot bath and her bed.

It was two fifteen in the morning when Sydney looked at the clock rubbing her eyes. She had forced herself in bed two hours ago, and she tossed and turned. When her phone rang and woke her up, she felt as if she had just fallen asleep.

Picking up her cell phone, she considered not answering it when she saw the name flashing on her phone. NO. She would tell him she made it home safe, that was probably why he was calling to check on her since she had not called him.

Hitting the connect button on her phone she said, “Austin, I made it home. I did not call you because you need space right now. And quiet honestly, I need sleep...”

She was cut off by him slurring, “Sydneeey, I love you. Pleeeze don’t leave me.”

“Austin? What is the matter?” Sydney sat straight up in bed. She had never heard him like this. They had talked once about drinking and Austin told her he had only been drunk a few times, and now he was three sheets to the wind so to speak.

“I miss you, please come back.” Austin said and was greeted by silence on the phone, “Syd, I need you.”

Sydney had been praying, she didn’t know what to do and her heart was breaking all over again. But the one thing she was confident in was that she did not want to talk to Austin while he had been drinking.