My Neighbor, Mr. Rogers

Chapter Five - Anne Johnson: Super Spy

It has been nearly a month. The doctors had decided to place my mom in another medically induced coma right after the surgery. The neurosurgeon had said that there was too much swelling and that this would help her recover. They had kept her under for just a few days. My mom still hasn't woken up. The doctors aren't sure when she will.

Steve has been kind enough to distract me a couple of nights a week with "movie night". See, I had found out that- you might want to sit down for this –he had never- deep breath –seen 'Star Wars'. Any of them. Hadn't even heard of them. How does that happen?? Of course, being the kind and generous soul that I am, I offered to let him borrow my set of DVD's – on the condition that I get to watch them with him.

Really I just wanted to watch him watch them. Hm. That sounds incredibly creepy. I mean, the whole idea kind of blew my mind and I wanted to see someone experience it for the first time. We only watched the original three. When he asked why the first one said that it was number four, I just told him it was a production mistake. Not even a complete lie.

Anyway, it turns out that he hasn't seen a lot of movies. And when I say that, I mean that he's seen about six movies total. Needless to say, my inner geek squeed at the thought of being able to introduce him to so many great movies – 'Jurassic Park', 'Indiana Jones' (all three of them...shhhhh, it's better this way), 'Men In Black', and the like. I had gone for movies that lean more towards Action to be on the safe side, but tonight is 'Princess Bride', which I consider the perfect mix of Action and Romance. I didn't want to send Steve any weird vibes by starting out with 'Pride & Prejudice' or something like that straight out of the gate.

We're in my apartment, as I don't think he's exactly comfortable with me being in his apartment. I don't ask why. It doesn't really bother me since I myself feel a bit weird with him here. Then again I do have all the social aptness of Jim Carey's version of the Grinch.

I had mentioned something to him about how my garbage disposal was making a really weird sound and since he's Mr. Gentleman, he offered to take a look at it before I could say anything to the contrary. So when the pizza delivery guy came to the door, Steve's head was under my kitchen sink.

"I got it!" I call out, so he wouldn't have to get up. He'd left his wallet by the door so I could pay for dinner. It's kind of our thing; we switch off on who pays for/makes dinner and who pays for dessert/treats.

"Hey there," I say happily as I swing my door open.

"Yeah. That'll be thirty-four bucks." The delivery boy seems less than thrilled. But I keep my smile as I grab Steve's wallet. I give him two twenties and tell him to keep the change, knowing that's what Steve would do. He takes the cash and I take the box.

After he leaves and I set the pizza on my coffee table, I move to put Steve's wallet back. But I stop. I'm a bit too snoopy for my own good. With a quick glance to my kitchen to see that Steve is still on the floor, I peek in his wallet. It's not like I'm going to count his cash or anything. I just want to see his driver's license. I mean, if anyone could take a good photo at the DMV, I bet it would be him.

I was right.

But I do find something out. Steve's birthday is next Wednesday. This would be the perfect opportunity for me to do something for him as a 'thank you' for everything he's done for me.

Hmm...(insert devious and slightly maniacal facial expressions and sound effects here)

"Well, I think I found the problem." Steve comes around the corner, wiping his hands on a flowery dishtowel.

I snap his wallet shut and try my best to look innocent. "Oh?"

He grins lopsidedly and holds out a completely mangled fork. "It was wedged in there pretty good."

"Oh. A dinglehopper," I say as I drop his wallet on the coffee table, nonchalant-like.

Steve's face turns to adorable confusion. I've decided that I quite like doing what I can to keep it there. I'm rather fond of that expression of his.

"It's from a movie on 'the list'," I answer his unasked question. 'The List' being my master list of must-see movies that we've been working through.

He just nods amiably and places the contorted cutlery on the counter before moving to sit on the couch.

"Say, Stevie..." I'm the queen of subtlety. I could be a spy.

"...Yes, Annie?..." he answers with amusement.

"Whatcha doin' next week?" I try for some semblance of an innocent and cutesy look on my face, but I doubt that I've succeeded.

"Nothing, really. Same thing as I usually do, I suppose." He gives a small shrug of his shoulders and opens the pizza box.

"Oh, so, no plans at all then?" Look out Bond; I'm gunning for you.

Steve looks up at me and I can see that he's beginning to get a touch suspicious as to where this is leading. "No, no plans other than our movie night."

I nod like it's nothing and say before I can lose my bravado, "May I reserve a certain additional night next week in your social calendar?" Yeah, I totally don't sound like some freak.

Steve now obviously suspects some sort of scheme – his forehead is all crinkled again. "Is something up?"

"No, no nothing's wrong. I just, um, just want to spend the evening with you."

He gives one of those slightly pacifying smiles that says he thinks I'm a weirdo, which I am, so it's okay. Unless-

"Oh, it's not- not a date." I give the most awkward laugh that has ever passed between my lips. "No, no, that'd be, like, totally weird!...Right?...Yeah, no, not a date. Ha. Just a friend thing. You know, like, hanging out but actually 'out'. Ha. Like I could ever ask you on a date."

Steve's expression rapidly passes through a rainbow of emotions: Confusion, amusement, relief (yeah, that one stung a bit), and what looked like insult.

'How did I hurt him? Gee, maybe it was when you accidentally insinuated that he wasn't date-worthy?'

My eyes widened. "Oh! No, no, I didn't mean I wouldn't go out with you. I would just never make the first- I mean, you're totally dateable; completely ama- I-I, I have no idea what I'm saying..." I sigh in my freshly dug hole, pinching the bridge of my nose.

'Why do people do that? What a weird response to stress. It's not like it does anything.'

I stare at his knees. I can't look him in the eyes. "Can we please back this conversation up about a minute so I can pretend that that didn't just happen?" I begin speaking again before he can answer. "Hey Steve, would you like to hang out with me somewhere on Wednesday, you know, in a purely friendly fashion?"

My fingers twist and fret each other as I swallow nervously and shift my weight. I haven't felt this uncomfortable around Steve since we first met. The awkwardness continues to grow as Steve doesn't answer. The silence is almost literally suffocating. I resist the urge to tug at my collar.

'Is he freaked out by my freak out? Is he uncomfortable and thinking that I have a crush on him? 'Cause I'm just kind of the worst at being normal around "new" people. I'm either a monk who's taken a vow of silence or I come on like Ajax...

Because he was stronger than all of Greece.

It'll make sense to someone.'

Finally, I can't take it anymore and I force myself to look up to see if I can tell what he's thinking. His clear blue eyes are open and his mouth is hung in an understanding, lopsided smile. Steve must've been waiting for me to make eye contact, because as soon as I do he says, "I would love to spend time with my friend."

I heave a sigh of relief that completely empties my lungs. "Cool beans!" I cringe.

'There's that Ajax charm.'

"So, just be ready to go by seven-thirty for dinner and dress fairly comfortably. Now, let's get this party started." I smile a bit at my oh-so-clever double meaning as I drop onto the couch beside him.