Fixing Us | Sequel to Forgotten Love

Chapter 8

Carter's POV

I don't know how long I sat there. I sat there, shivering, replaying the fight over and over in my head. I didn't even realize when a pair of arms wrapped around me. I looked up and through the rain saw James. I tried to stop it but soon I was sobbing into his chest. 

"Shh let's get you in the car. You're freezing." He said. He picked me up. He did it so effortlessly I was questioning how strong he was. He held me with one hand and a knee as he opened the door. He set me on the seat and I sat there, enjoying the warm air blasting from the vents. He walked around the car and got in. He locked the doors an turned to me. "Are you okay?" He asked. I was still shivering but it was slowly going down.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"What's the truth?" He looked me in the eyes sympathetically.

"The truth? Nothing's fine, I'm torn." I said softly. He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry." He took the car out of park. "Now let's get you home." We drove him in silence. I stared blankly into space, trapped in my own thoughts. I didn't even realize we were back at my parents' until James carried me through the front door. It was late and only the hall light was on. James turned to walk into my room. He set me on my bed, pulling my covers over me. "Good night, Carter."

"Good night." I croaked. He left and the house was soon silent. I kept tossing and turning. I was dead tired and my body wouldn't let me sleep. I pulled the covers off and sluggishly stood up, groaning. I wrapped a blanket around me and walked across the room. I opened the door, careful not to let it squeak. I walked down the hall and opened the door to the kitchen. My eyes looked up from the floor, meeting Logan's. 

"Oh, um.." He said awkwardly. I opened the fridge and grabbed I water bottle. I looked at him one last time, biting my lip before hurrying back to my room. I took a long swig of water, feeling refreshed. I peeled my wet clothes off my body and threw on a large t-shirt. I crawled back in bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. My eyes fluttered shut as I fell into a well-needed sleep.

.

I got out of bed the next morning, pulling on pajama shorts. I pulled my hair up in a bun and trudged into my bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before leaving my room. It was around noon I was guessing. I was wrong because when I walked into the kitchen, Carlos was making breakfast, I looked around the kitchen as every ones eyes turned to me.

"Where's Olivia?" I asked, glaring at the empty seat.

"She went for a run." James answered.

"Good for her." I grumbled, taking my seat. I could feel their eyes on me as I stared at my lap. Carlos set a plate of eggs and bacon on the table. They all grabbed a plate and stacked food onto it.

"Are you going to eat?" Kendall asked. I looked up at him.

"I'm not really that hungry." I admitted. I stared at my lap again, thinking over last night.

"Carter," Logan's voice broke me from my trance. 

"What do you want?" I spat angrily, glaring at him. I didn't mean to snap at him, I just didn't want him talking to me.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking at me.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, standing up. "Sorry for bringing Olivia with you? Sorry for acting like I never meant anything to you?" I was getting angry. I took a step towards him.

"Guys..." Carlos warned.

"Shut it." I sent him a glare and he kept quiet. I turned back to Logan. "What exactly are you sorry for Logan?!"

"For everything." He said nervously.

"Oh, really? It didn't seem like you cared. And I don't think you do! Don't you think it would bother me that your brought your girlfriend here?! That you were making out with her right in front of me?!" I yelled. "I'm not going to accept your apology that easy!" I took a deep breath. "You should leave."

"W-what?" He asked bewildered.

"Leave and take that fake of a girlfriend with you." I huffed.

"I really am sorry!" He replied. He looked like he was getting angry.

"WELL IT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE IT WHEN YOU WERE WISHING RYAN HAD KILLED ME!" I yelled, bringing my hand up and slapping him across the face.

"Carter!" James yelled, surprised.

"I DON'T WANT YOUR APOLOGIES LOGAN!" I yelled hitting his chest. I didn't know what was happening. It didn't feel like it was me. Logan backed up until he hit the wall. I punched his chest, hitting, scratching anywhere I could. 

"CARTER!" All three guys yelled. James grabbed my wrist but I yanked it free, scratching Logan's face. Anything to hurt him. My breathing was uneven now. Carlos also grabbed onto me but I broke through.  I kept hitting Logan and he didn't do anything to stop me.

"YOU WERE NEVER THERE!" Hit. Punch. "IT WAS KILLING ME, LOGAN!" Scratch. Hit. I slipped through their arms once again. "I LOVE YOU AND YOU WANT ME DEAD!" I screamed hysterically. They were screaming my name but I wasn't listening. I was letting go of all the anger, all the stress, all of my feelings for the past 6 months. I was punching him everywhere I could.

"CARTER STOP!" James yelled at the top of his lunges. He yanked me back, practically throwing me, and my side hit the counter. I winced and slid to the floor.

My vision was blurry and Logan leaned dizzily against the wall, sliding down so he was sitting. His head leaned forward unconsciously. I slowly looked down at my shaky hands. My head was pounding. Everything looked like I was under water. They were all surrounding Logan. 

None of them bothered to check on me. I didn't blame them. There was a pit in my stomach. I knew this feeling. It was a monster.

I was a monster.

I let out a sob. Tears began falling down my cheeks. I had did this to him. I was a monster.

What had I done?

 If your confused, she had an anxiety attack btw. Enjoy that wonderful GIF on the side <3