Chapter 9

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I was woken up by a loud bang.

"Oops." I heard someone say. I groaned.

"Why are you waking me up at such an unkindly h-" I froze mid-sentence as I opened my eyes. I was in the hospital. I glanced down and noticed I was wearing a hospital gown and a needle was in my arm. The events as to why I was here came to mind.

"You're awake!" Kendall exclaimed, jumping up from cleaning up the broken glass.

"Why am I here? I know s-someone should be but I'm not hurt." I asked, my voice hoarse.

"Carter, you had another anxiety attack." He said, looking at his shoes. My eyes grew wide.

"I-I did?" I asked. 

"Um yeah. You remember everything, right?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yeah." I was ashamed.

"I'll go get the doctor." He announced before leaving. I looked around the room. Logan was probably in one exactly like it, because of me.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Joan." A red haired woman smiled, walking in. Kendall wasn't with her.

"Hello." I said quietly. She pulled up a chair.

"You know why you're here, right?" I nodded. She looked at me, wondering if I was going to explain the incident. "Well I think I'm going to set you up with a friend of mine. She's a psychiatrist."

"W-what?" I sputtered. "I'M NOT CRAZY! I SWEAR!"

"I know that. It's just that this would help with your anxiety."

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO! I WON'T!"

"Carter! Think about it. It's not only dangerous for you, but also for your friends if we don't fix your problem!" She exclaimed. I let her words sink in, sighing.

"O-okay."

"Good." She smiled. "How is once a week, every Thursday at 4:30?"

"Okay." I nodded.

"I'm going to have to subscribe you to some medicine to help with your anxiety." She told me while writing,

I nodded. I thought for a moment as she wrote on her clipboard. "Can I see Logan?" She looked up at me.

"I don't think that's the greatest idea." She told me.

"Please?" I pleaded.

"I already told you, that's not the greatest idea." She told me sternly.

I took a shaky breath. "At least tell me he's alright."

"He woke about an hour ago. He's doing better than I expected. Nothing but a few bruises, some scratches." I winced.

"When can I leave?" I asked.

"As soon as I get your subscription sent in so, about 20 minutes." She told me before leaving the room. I looked around the room, soon getting bored of it's white interior. My mind wandered to last night. The event's playing over in my head. Dr. Joan's words kept repeating in my head.

..to fix your problem.

Was that what I was? A problem?

"Carter?" Carlos' voice broke me from my thoughts. I looked over at him where he was standing in the door way.

"Hey Los." I smiled. I sat up straighter.

"How ya doing? It was my turn to come and visit you." He told me, sitting down.

It was my turn to come and visit you.

Was that what they thought of me? I looked at his face and saw in his eyes he was scared.

"Leave. I know you don't want to be here." I said quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Go make sure your friend is okay. It's not like you have to take turns to be with me."

"No, Carter! I didn't mean it-" I cut him off.

"Please, just go!" He flinched. "What you think I'm going to lash out on you like I did with Logan?!" I asked, my voice strained. A tear fell down my cheek. He gave me one last glance before leaving the room. I let out a frustrated sigh, running my hand through my hair.

I ended up staying there the rest of the day. None of the boys came to see me. 

"Mrs. Johnson, you have a call." One of the nurses said, hanging me the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, wondering who was on the other line.

"Oh Carter! Honey, me and your father were worried sick!" My mom's voice said. I smiled.

"I'm fine, Mom. Just another anxiety attack." I sighed, adding a short laugh.

"Carter Nicole! This is NOT something to joke about!"

"Did you have to use my middle name?" I whined. We talked for a bit more and after promising to call her later, I hung up.

.

"I can do this." I told myself. It was the next day and they had finally agreed to let me see Logan. Psh, it's not like I kept begging until they said yes. I straightened my shirt and was about to open the door when James came out, running right into me.

"Ow." I said as my head hit his chest. I stumbled back a few steps. 

"Sorry." He said. I looked up at him. He didn't say anything else.

"You know, thanks for visiting me, James. It's not like I wanted my best friend with me when I found out I had to go to a psychiatrist or when I figured out I had another anxiety attack." I said, coldly. 

"I- I'm sorry." I gave him a look. 

"You're lucky I'll forgive you so easily." I laughed, hugging him. I let go of him and walked into Logan's room. I knocked on the door frame as I walked in.

"Logan?" I asked, smiling as I walked in.

"O-oh hey Carter." He said. I looked over at him. He had a few scratches on his face, bruises on his arm. I'm sure it was worse under his shirt. My smile faltered as tears formed in my eyes.

"I-I'm sorry Logan." I whispered, biting my lip. "So so sorry." 

"It's not your fault." He told me. I walked more into the room.

"Yeah, it is. I'm the one who didn't get medicine in the first place, right?" My voice cracked. He opened his mouth to say something but someone cut him off.

"YOU-" The lunch bell rang as Olivia screamed at me. "How DARE you come in here after what you've done to him!" She brought up her hand and slapped me straight across the face. "He doesn't like or love you so get over it you clingy wanna-be! You are a FREAK and NO ONE will EVER love you!" She shrieked, pushing me against the wall. She slapped me once again and I bit my lip. My right cheek was stinging "You can leave now."

"Liv! And no she can't. I was talking to her." Logan exclaimed. "Liv, babe, just 5 minutes." She was now stood by his side and he gave her a quick kiss. I looked from Olivia to him.

"N-no I'll go. I need to go home and feed Ed." I got out in a small voice. I hurried out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the hospital. I got outside and started walking home. I wiped at my tears vigorously.

"Don't cry over him." I told myself. The tears came faster. "Don't cry over him!" I yelled at myself in a shaky voice. I stopped walking and stood there. Ibroke out running. My feet slapped against the pavement, faster and faster and soon I was slamming my front door shut. I curled up on my bed, my whole body shaking. Why is it we love the ones who ignore us? Why is it that people continue to break you down and don't care one bit? Why is it that nothing goes the way you want it to?

Because nothing is fair.

Heyyoo :) I have some things to say so PLEASE read on.

1) I really like when you guys comment because I laugh at them so comment ;D

2) Would any of you enter if I held a one shot contest thingy?

3) Idk how long this story is gonna be. It's definitely gonna be shorter than FL so ya

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