bad to the bone (Undertale sans x reader)

Magic is a no no

(Everyone, please thank (@StarsOnFyre) beautiful pick-up lines. the first 6 are from them! Enjoy! And thanks for reading!!!!!) 

 "Pretty Cute huh?" You smile, looking down. 

 "Yeah, i can see it." You then nod. 

He grins and you down on his back, Sans sitting up beside you. 

 "You must be the south pole, because i'm the north pole, and opposites attract." Sans winks at you, making you blush. 

 "Sans....." You mumble looking away, your cheeks red. 

He grins.

 "That was cute, but.... let's get serious. Did you know.....that there are 21 letters in the alphabet?" You say, poking his non-exsistent nose. 

He stares at you for a moment, then blinks. 

 "Wait i thought there were 26." He say confused. 

 "Oh right!" You chuckle. 

 "I forgot.... U R A Q T...." You wink. 

His cheeks turn light blue again and he chuckles. 

 "Are you a Harry Potter fan?" He asks, looking away. 

 "Maybe...." You smile. 

 "Well....I was wondering....You must go to hogwarts. Mind if i slytherin bed with you." He grins, laying down and wrapping his arms around you. 

You giggle and blush again. Your cheeks had minds of their own....or maybe you had a blushing problem that the author just-so-happened to insert into the story! *gasp* 

 "That was good. But...Are you a wizard? Cause AbracaDAAAMMNNNNNN." You say, licking your lips. 

He snorts, shaking his head. 

 "Your legs must be tired from running through my mind all day." He winks.  

You roll your eyes, giggling. 

 "Okay. I'm going to assign us as office supplies. You be the paper, and i'll be the pen. Together we can write our love story." You smile. 

He nods, blushing. He sits up and leaves you on his bed, leaving the room. He then comes back with a pen and paper. You blush, looking at him confused. He grins and holds up one finger, signaling you to wait. He turns and scribbles on it, then turns around. 

 "Would you like to see our love story?" He grins. 

You nod. 

He holds up the paper, and on it was a baby blue, really badly drawn dick. 

You and him, having the same humour as elementary school-kids, ended up laughing your asses of, tears falling down your faces. 

 "D-Do y-you ev-ven have a d-dick?" You say, in between laughs. 

You two calm down and he stands up. 

 "Well duh! I might be a skeleton but remember kid, i've got magic." He winks, sticking his glowling blue tongue out. 

 "Wait...so is your dick like your tongue then?" You ask, eyes sparkling. 

 "Yeah....like the ecto...tongue...." He chuckles nervously, looking away, his face a light blue. 

 "Alright! Let's stop talking about my dick and move to a new topic!" Sans smiles. 

 "You have magic?" You smile. 

He sits by you on his bed. 

 "Sure do~" He smirks. 

 "Can i see?" You smile wide. 

He looks to the side and sighs. 

 "I don't know if i should show you just yet. My....magic.....can get out of hand." He chuckles awkwardly. 

You nod and smile, laying your head on his shoulder. 

 "You're freaken cute kid." Sans chuckles.