Ink Heart

Chapter 1

Kristens POV

I wake in the morning staring myself down in the mirror only wearing my underwear grabbing and pulling at all the discusting fat on my body. I really have been trying to lose weight and I have been but it still doesn't feel fast enough my goal weight is 90 and now I'm only sitting at a hundred, the thought of this makes me gag and then I'm running to the bathroom puking up whatever is left in my stomach.

I've haven't told anyone about this I mean its not a permanent routine I just want to lose weight and feel better about myself instead of being so worthless God I'm pathetic

Pathetic

Fat

Ugly

Stupid

Boring

Worthless

That's all I hear in my head. I head back to my room trying to ignore my thoughts so I can go on with the day. I prop myself up on my bed peaking out the window to see the what the weather is like outside.

"it's beautiful and the sun in shining"

I say out loud trying get some positivity. I walk to my closet trying to make a effort to look nice I look threw all of my clothes but Decide to go with a black muscle shirt and a muscle jean jacket over top I decided to go with the weather and put on some high waisted shorts and tuck my shirt into them finally I grab my black leather combat boots and slip them on I walk in front of the mirror and say the same words in my head before

Ugly

Fat

Worthless

Stupid.. I stop myself and being to grab my makeup I start with a top eye liner and some mascara I don't do anything with my hair and decide to leave it as its natural curls I leave my room only grabbing my purse and phone and head for the door. My parents have already left for work so I decide to just drive to school in my new car I earned it with my own money it's not much but it gets me place to place. Sometimes I wish I would crash it and die on impacted but no I have my family that loves me and I guess some friends that I can't leave to deal with me when I'm gone so how did it all come to this big depressing moment in my life well I can't really tell you and I guess over time of all these things going wrong it kinda got to my head and I got bad I won't go into to much detail about everything all I can say is my name is Kristen I am 18 years old I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago, my life is fine It's me that's not.

Well high schools almost over and so I am making a plan. My plan is to get as far away from this place as possible, i have the money I've been saving up from my job and i think tonight is the night to leave this town and if that doesn't work out my back up plan is to kill myself since I have nothing to live for anyway. I decide to go to school one last time before I leave so I can see my friends When I arrive at high school my friends are all ready there sitting in the hall Mallory, Amber, Sara, and Alexis were a really strange group.

Let me tell you about it Well first off there's Sara she's loud and very random most of the time I don't know what she's talking about but I try to listen because I feel bad for her actually I mean she really doesn't have any really good friends she's kinda just there Sara has got to be one of the shortest girls in the school and looks like she's in grade 8 so you know she has a lot of pressure.

Then there's Amber, Amber is fun to be around until you get on her bad side she pretty much hates everyone and always thinks she's right but deep down she's a good person just thinks she should act like a bitch.

Alexis is Tall and very pretty long brown hair with the perfect face and body she doesn't even wear makeup I don't think she needs too but her personality is a different thing I'm not saying she's a bad person there's just something about her that seems to bother me.

Then there's Mallory she's my best friend and is probably one of the closest to understanding well know one understamds me but were alike in so many ways but yet so different, she's ginger short hair and green eyes all my other friends are brunettes except her so you know she stands out.

We aren't popular girls but were not losers either were just in between that category I guess. My plan is to tell just my friends that I'm leaving at the end of the day so they won't hate me for the rest of my life for ditching them I'm not sure how they will take the news but it doesn't matter because there's no stoping me.

(I'm just starting to write idk if anyone's reading this I still have to edit it and write a lot more i hope you like it sorry its kinda depressing right now but things will get better and more interesting trust me I've also put a lot of my own life into the story, also the picture on the side shows how skinny she is.