Hetalia Headcanons

Title Your Story Part

Here is just a little thing I got an idea of while going through my drafts, my old writing! It's kinda funny...

In response to his question, I reply, "Womanly Charms and many years of fighting." I sigh, "Mostly womanly charms... but if you knew how many times boobs made me win a fight..!" -Ukraine

"I hope Berwald is happy about the royal ass you've become, Peter." -Ladonia

"So was Allen, but he turned out fine." Matt says, making me turn to him.
"Define 'fine'. If you mean a kill spreeing murderer from New York he is very fine." -2p!Italy

"Shit faced man whore! I swear on Francois' dick I will murder you in your sleep!" -2p!Canada

"Great job, Matt. You've been at this school for two days, and you've managed to get the shit beat out of you, and your ass handed to you personally by Luciano." I whisper to myself, "You shouldn't blame yourself. It's only because of your asshat of a brother that you ended up like this. Dumbass. Shit faced man whore that would fuck anything that moves. What a dick." -2p!Canada

"I remember when I almost ripped off  Allen's dick when I was watching hockey one time." Matt says to me.
"Why the fuck would you do that?!" I ask him.
"He was being a dick so I didn't think he needed it."

'If he seems like he's being a bitch, it's because Luciano did stab him in the leg. So yeah. Karma is almost is a bigger bitch than him.' -Me

"Wait, who's asshat?"
"Alistair the brilliant asshat of asshats." -England

"BUT I WANT TO SEE YOUR BABIES"
"What the hell...?"
"THEY WOULD BE ADORABLE LITTLE MURDERERS" -2p!England

"He is gay. Because gay is yay. Goodbye." -Me

"It might be July buT FUCK CALENDERS HALLOWEEN WILL RULE ALL!!!!!! That is all." -Me

"I am not little!"
"You just got took down by a girl! You must have something little!!!" -2p!France

"You're gonna fuck off, or I'm gonna cut off your dick, mkay?"
"Which one gets me laid? Cuz I'm not fucking off until I get laid."
"Fine. It was your choice, remember...?" I say, taking out a knife with dried blood on it." -2p!Italy

"PANERA. NOW." -Poland

"Hey looky there, I'm still a virgin." -2p!Italy

"Well its nice being single, I guess. Free drinks at bars, half price Valentine's candy, the works." -Romano

I sigh before asking, "Who are you wearing...?"
"SEAN JOHN CALVIN KLEIN BELLADONNA'S FASHION LINE!!" -Poland

"Go fack yourself, Matt." -2p!America

I don't want to go to that goddamn meeting, but I have to for my maplefucking country. -Canada

"Why don't you sleep in your own fucking bed?" I ask.
"Because I'd rather sleep with you, Mattie Baby." -France

Okie dokie that was not funny okay bye now