Always & Forever

Chapter 21

Talia POV

"I'm such a bad person." I mumbled, getting out of my bed quickly. I turned around and looked at Jason, knocked out cold.

I don't know how last night happened but I know it's a big mistake. I basically did to Camarie what she did to me; I slept with her man. She's suppose to be getting married to this idiot and we just went round for round in my bed like as if it was old times.

"Jason, wake up." I said, shaking his arm. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes.

"Morning gorgeous." He said in his raspy morning voice and a smirk on his face. I couldn't help but to blush but quickly tried to cover it up.

"Get up Jason. You have to go, what we did last night shouldn't have happened." I said shaking my head. I'm so ashamed.

"What you talking bout doll?" He asked.

I watched him get up and slide on the pair of joggers he was wearing yesterday. He walked over to me making me take steps back. I don't want to touch him.

"You just cheated on your fiancée. How are you so nonchalant?" I asked.

"I cheated on the girl I'm engaged to with the girl I'm in love with. I don't feel to bad. If I loose Camarie, it won't hurt as bad like if I loose you." He said.

Deep down I want to cuss his ass put and swear up and down I don't love him but in reality, I can't do that because I do love him. I loved Dylan but I'm IN LOVE with Jason and I have been since we were younger. I just don't think that he understands how bad he hurt me, that's why I won't and can't take him back.

"You have a child with that girl and I'm not gonna allow you to leave your family for me. Marry your baby mom and live happily ever after. Don't do her like you did me. Trust me, it will ruin her." I said, not even believing what I'm saying.

"Camarie is the one that messed up our relationship-"

"No it was you! You are the one who allowed Chris to get into your head and you fucked her! YOU CHEATED! I was in a relationship with YOU not HER! You could have stopped, shit you could have strapped up,  but you didn't. You fuck her and got her pregnant!" I yelled, pushing his chest roughly.

"And I've apologized-"

"I was suppose to have your first child! I was suppose to he the one with the kid, house, ring, and happily ever after but you fucked it all up! I was the best girlfriend and I actually opened up to you but you let me down just like every other man that ever been in my life! Bone, Jay, you, Dylan, every fucking body! I fucking hate you! I hate you Jason!" I yelled. I broke down crying and slid down the wall.

Jason bent don't on his knees and pulled me into his chest. I don't even have enough strength to push him away. I hate that all these old feelings are coming out when I planned to keep them in forever. I don't want to deal with these emotions.

"Shhhh. I'm sorry Talia. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or make you cry like this. I swear, everything I did was a mistake and it kills me everyday, knowing that I could have you right now but I don't because I was stupid. You have every reason to be angry but don't say you hate me because you don't and we both know that." He said. I hiccuped and wiped my face but the tears kept coming.

"I don't get it though. Like, I'm not good enough for anybody. This isn't even just about you and your bullshit. I wasn't good enough for Bone and Jay. I was left to be constantly abused and raped by a man that wasn't shit. The two people that were suppose to protect me weren't there. My mother didn't care at all. You fucked me over. Dylan fucked me over big time. I don't know why I'm so fucking dumb at times." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"There's nothing wrong with you Talia. You're more than good enough and you do deserve better. All I know is that God never puts someone in a situation that they can't handle. You're a strong woman T and I love that about you." He said and kissed my forehead.

"I don't want you feeling like this, and if you allow me Talia, I want to show you how important you are to me. I just need a second chance-"

"I can't." I said just above a whisper. I just remembered Andre. I can't do this to him.

"Talia please." He said, resting his forehead onto mine.

"I'm just gonna get hurt again." I said, shaking my head vigorously.

"I swear I won't. Trust me Talia. You love me?"

"Mhm." I hummed.

"Then trust me when I say, I'm not gonna hurt you again." He said.

I didn't answer him because I want to trust him so bad and I'm getting to that point but he broke my trust a long time ago and he needs to prove it.

"You have to do more than just say it. I want you to prove it." I mumbled, not looking him in the eyes.

"Done baby."