Everything Goes Black

Pain

I am loved. On air. Light as a feather. Last night shows me that I wasn't just wanted for sex. I know Hikaru truly loves me. He never once just moved to please himself. He made sure I was pleasure in one way or another. I can't believe how much I love this man! He is like my drug... I get high just thinking about him!

I lie in his arms now awake while he sleeps. He doesn't snore like my father and his soft breath was gentle on my neck. We are still naked and our bodies are still so close. I don't deserve this wonderful person... but who said that I was going to let him go? Never ever... Hikaru is mine. Wow... I never thought I could sound so possessive.

He starts to stir and I feel him pulling me closer to his body. I must be warm because he purrs sweetly at this. "Mmm... soft..." he mumbles and nuzzles me. I smile and kiss his neck making him moan and purr happily. He is still so innocent... I think he always will be. He stirs again and his eyes flutter open. He still looks half asleep. I know sex takes a lot out of me... so it probably does the same for him. I say his name and he only hums sleepily. I place a hand on his cheek and kiss him deeply yet gently.

I smile feeling him kissing me back and his arms wrap around my frail body. We both pull back feeling a little breathless and I know he is wide awake now. "Mmm... I could get used to waking up to this." he smiles at me. "Morning love... I didn't hurt you last night did I?" I was the first thing he thought about... he was worried about me. I shake my head and kiss him again. It didn't hurt like the other times. No one was ever gentle with him except for Hikaru.

"I'm glad... I saw you crying while it was happening so I was so worried." he murmurs and kisses my neck making me blush. "Such a reaction... with a simple touch." he says teasingly. "You are so adorable my chibi love." I protest at my nickname while only makes him chuckle. Then he looks at the time. "Oh crap! I'm glad this isn't a school day. It's almost lunch time." he then blushes. "I bet ma and pa have already seen this... I'm going to get teased forever." he murmurs.

I smile at him but then I was filled with dread. It was lunch time... father was home! And I'm still here! I never sleep this late after sex! Was I just completely satisfied? But still I have to go home! I sit up with Hikaru and gather my clothes that were thrown in a rather neat pile next to the bed. "You should go get a shower love." he says softly. "Unless you want to get one together...?" he tilts his head. For a moment I think that he means to make love again but then I see his curious look. "I'll wash your back." So innocent...

I agree and next thing I know we are in the shower. He massages my back with gentle yet firm hands and I lean into his touch. "You are so silly..." he murmurs and then starts to wash my hair. He has the magic touch and I love every moment of it. I do the same with him and I get a similar reaction. We are perfect for each other... two halves of the same heart and we are only complete when we are together.

We dry off, get dressed, and walk down the stairs hand in hand. Ramos is at the bottom of the stairs watching us with curious eyes. I wonder if Hikaru's scent had changed for him. I wouldn't know though as I'm not a cat. He smile at Hikaru and tell him I have to go. "You do? Oh right... your father..." he hesitates. "At least stay for the first part of my teasing..."

Just then Kadae walks over to us and squeals happily. I know what's coming... suddenly she grabs us both and hugs us to death. "Oh my baby is growing up!" Hikaru blushes. "M... ma!" he whines and squirms. Then Ikuto walks in his gray blue eyes playful. "Now you can't really tease your old man hmm son?" he purrs. "Oi! At least I didn't do it while you guys were trying to sleep!" Hikaru whines again.

His parents love him so much... I wish I could have that with mine. I squirm in Kadae's grasp and can't wiggle free. This woman had a strong grip... that's for sure. "Ma can you let us go?" he wiggles as well but that only makes her hug us more. "Aww just like when you were a baby!" she squeals again. Ikuto leans against the wall and watches this with a chuckle. Yep... they are going to tease the hell out of him.

But I really need to get home... now! Father is going to kill me! When she finally lets us go after what seems like an hour, she offers some lunch but I tell her I need to get home. They don't notice my urgency but Hikaru does. "Guys... he really needs to get home okay?" he says gently and looks at me silently. The question was in his eyes: 'What is going on at home?' He never has asked once but... he knows me. He knows when I seem to cry out for help. Just like my eyes must be telling him now.

I hug him and kiss him before rushing out the door. Crap crap crap! For once I'm not hurting after sex and now I was probably going to get beaten and raped. Why does my life have to be so terrible? It's not fair! Why can't father just be like he used to be? He cared about me up until I was five when he started to drink. That was the first time he went into my room... mum wouldn't give him what he wanted so he used me instead... that made mum leave father.

When I get to home, instead of a drunk father watching tv, he was talking on the phone completely sober. I can tell because he was slurring and his face wasn't red. "Are you sure? Are they here in Japan?" he paused. "How bad is it? Should I tell Ayato?" I was curious now. Who was he talking to? I tense as he spots me but there was no dark look. He does act better when he was sober at least. "He's here now... okay okay I'll explain it to him then we will be right now." he frowns. "It doesn't matter if you don't like it. He is his brother too." he hangs and looks at me seriously.

Wow... I've never seen him like this. I ask him what has happened. "Ayato... son Tomoya and mother is here. But something has happened." My heart stops. No... not Tomoya. "Your brother was driving his pregnant girlfriend to the hospital... but there was an accident. His girlfriend is fine and had the baby... but Tomoya is in a comatose state. We have to go see him now."

I start to hyperventilate. No no no no!!! Not my brother! Here I was with my boyfriend now lover and this happens. It can't be... it just can't! Tears stream down my face. "Ayato calm down. Your mother agreed to let us go to him." he says in surprising gentleness. He walks to me and holds me close. "Calm down son..." I don't understand. Why is he acting like he cares? I was having a mental breakdown... maybe that's why. But it isn't fair!

My world is crumbling down... Tomoya please be okay! I sob in his chest and tremble. I'd take a whole world of pain rather than have my only brother get hurt like this! I haven't seen him in years! I didn't know he had a girlfriend and they were having a baby. I didn't know they had come back to Japan. So much stuff... so much. I can't take much more. I need to go see him... I felt like I was grieving his death and he is still alive! Tomoya... Tomoya... please don't be in any pain.