Everything Goes Black

Unknowns

Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of a heart beat. So strong yet so weak. Something everyone has to have to stay alive. So simple... but so important. The simple things always seem to be most important. Without this one gentle tune there wouldn't be life.

Tomoya lays there on the bed with IVs and monitors all around him. He looks to be asleep... peaceful. At any moment he can wake up. But that isn't the case. A bandage around his hand shows me his wounds could have been fatal. From what his girlfriend Emiko has said, he protected her from hit as much as possible and did a wonderful job. She was ok and my niece is too.

He picked a beautiful woman. Blonde just like mum, but she has a kind soul. Her light blue eyes were so worried and she had been crying when they told her all the possibilities that would be of Tomoya's health. Mum was even crying. Her baby was hurt.

I was numb as the doctor told me and father. "Tomoya took a heavy hit to the head along with two broken bones. He isn't brain dead, but the damage can be major. Amnesia is a big one very common. Worst case is that he has a sudden bleeding in the brain that as can't stop. If that happens..." he trails off as I break down again.

The bones would mend. That was easy. But Tomoya can still die. I don't want him to die! He's the only one in my family who gets a damn about me! My body trembles violently and I can't stop it. My tears won't stop either. I can barely breathe.

"He is stable right now. We are monitoring him constantly." He tells us as I continue to sob. "We will do whatever we can to make sure he pulls through." His voice softens and I look up at him. I could tell that he cared. That he didn't take his job lightly. He didn't want the money... he wanted to actually save lives.

Father stands up and shakes his hand. The doctor smiles at us and takes his leave. I look at my brother again. Please don't die. Please don't be different... wake up! Mum doesn't seem to mind my presence. Oh wait... she's with Emiko trying to comfort and calm her down. She just had a baby after all.

I actually smile when I think about my niece. She looks just like Tomoya... but has her mother's golden blonde hair. Her eyes were electric blue just like Tomoya's one blue eye. She was adorable, perfect. My brother had helped create a wonderful child. She doesn't have a name that I know of.

I take my brother's limp hand and squeeze it. I tell him how much he has to live for. His family, his girlfriend, his baby, his dream of becoming a doctor... then I tell him why I need him here. I'm being so selfish... but I need my brother. Just knowing he's alive and well makes me happy. I want him to be happy.

I love Tomoya so much. He was my first best friend. He raised me when I was baby. I probably would have died if it wasn't for him. He took care of my wounds which is why he wants to be a doctor. He was interested as an eight year and asked Kadae about it as well.

He was even my first crush. Don't judge, I know it's incest. What my father is doing to be can be counted as incest too. But I did. He was amazing... a true best friend and big brother. He took care of me and didn't mind if I slept with him after a nightmare or if I wet myself while I did so. He helped me and protected me.
He was the perfect person. But now he could die just like that. I suppose that's who easy it is to take my own life. Just like that... so simple. I quiver and feel my nagging grief come back. It isn't fair! Why does Tomoya have to be in this situation? Why?!

"Son... you have to think positive. Tomoya is a strong boy. I believe that he will pull through this. I know it's scary..." I tremble as I hear my father's voice behind me. Why was he acting like this? "Don't fear what could happen... don't fear the unknowns. It won't do you any good Ayato."

I can't look at my father. I just can't... even if he's being caring. All I see when I look at my father is... when he's beating me, yelling at me... raping me. I can't see him as a caring, loving man anymore. "Ayato... what if Tomoya can hear us right now? Do you think he wants you to be crying and breaking down? Think positive... for your brother's sake."

That's it. He doesn't care about me. He doesn't want Tomoya to feel guilty. But... he has a point. Tomoya wouldn't want me to be this way. He'd want me to be strong just like him. I wipe my tears away and talk to him again. This time I talk to him about his baby. How adorable he truly is. Then... I talk about Hikaru.

I feel light again. Hikaru really does calm me down and keep me sane. He doesn't even have to be here to do it either. I tell Tomoya about this. About our love, about our hearts... everything. I hope Tomoya can hear this. I hope he knows I have my happiness. My other part of my soul.

"Ayato?" Just then, I hear the voice. That wonderful sound. I look at my brother but he's still in his sleep like state. I then look at the door and I see him. The worry in his eyes. The love on his face. He comes to me and wraps his arms around me. "Hey..."

I hug him back and nuzzle him. "Ma called me and told me... I thought you could use my support..." I kiss him gently to silence him. He doesn't have to explain. I know... I know. He pulls away and smiles. "I love you..." he murmured softly and wiped my face. "Don't cry. I bet Tomoya will be up and smiling in no time."

I didn't even realize I was starting to cry again. I thank him for coming and for caring... and for loving a person like me. He only smiles. "No problem Ayato. You are a wonderful and kind person. You deserve all the love in the world." I close my eyes and listen to his heart beat. Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. I can listen to it forever.