Lyrics Left Me

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Hey guys!! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I've been so busy with studying for midterms this is the first chance I've had to actually sit down and write. Thank you so much for voting and commenting!! This book wouldn't be possible without you guys! anyway, the banner is Eric Allan Kramer. He would be playing Harmony's dad. Happy reading!!!😊❤️

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It's not until I get to the bathroom when I realize I don't have my notebook anymore.

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I run out of the bathroom, hoping to catch sight of my notebook somewhere.

I go to the spot where I bumped into Avery, I look outside the door of my English classroom.

No luck.

I go back to the bathroom and hide in my stall. I sit on the floor and start to cry. Those lyrics are personal, and they are my whole life.

That notebook and the lyrics drive out all the demons inside my head that tell me that I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve to be in this world.

Without those lyrics, without the music, I'll fall apart again.

How could this happen to me? I can't go back to the way I was living two and a half years ago. The voices....in my head.....I couldn't control them. You're fat. They said. You're ugly. Who would ever want you. You are worthless.

The bell rings, but I don't get up. What's the point? I let my tears fall as I hear the students scramble to their classrooms as I sit here and wonder how I will survive the days to come.

I know what you're thinking. Why not just get a new notebook? I can't. That notebook wasn't just any notebook.

You see, when me and Connor were kids, we would always go to the junk shop and inspect the stuff. We never bought anything. One day, the owner if the shop, Sally, saw me inspecting a purple notebook with a butterfly on it.

I was about 10 years old at the time.

"Beautiful isn't it? The notebook is very special."

"How is it special?" I asked her.

"Well, it's very mysterious. A lady one day came in and put it in the counter and walked out if the shop. I never questioned it. I assumed it was fate. So, I picked it up and put it on the shelf. it has never been opened while it's been in my possession. "

"Sally?" I asked, "What happened to the lady?"

"I don't know sweetheart. She disappeared and never returned. I'm pretty sure she wasn't even from town."

I stared down at the notebook. Then, I sat down and inspected it some more.

"Can I open it, and read it to myself?" I asked.

Sally paused for a moment.

"Come here Harmony."

So, I got up and went to the counter where Sally was now sitting.

"Do you want this notebook?" she asked. She was giving it to me? I pulled out some money, knowing that's what the polite thing to do is.

"Here, all I have is a dollar." I said as I placed it onto the table.

Sally picked up the money, and then took the notebook from me, and then she put the money inside the notebook, then she have it to me.

"No charge. You're a special little girl. I can sense you aren't going to be the woman your mother desires you to be. Your spirt is wild, young, and free. Mine is very old, not much left in it. Take this notebook home with you, Harmony, and let it guide you."

I nodded as Conner came in from the back of the store.

"Bye Sally!" I said as me and Conner left the shop that day. What I didn't know is that would be the last time I saw Sally.

She died in her sleep that night. My mother made me wear a frilly black dress for the funeral. I felt silly, but didn't say anything. I didn't understand.

I didn't open the notebook until I first got depression. Inside there was a note.

"Dear Sally,

You probably don't remember me, but I hope the first page refreshes you memory.
With love, Angie. "

I turned the page that day to find a lyric. "Keep holding on, because we will make if through." It was from a song I couldn't remember. I closed the book and shut out everything that day.

When we moved to this town, I picked the notebook back up and reread the quote. That was when I understood, that no matter how tough things got, I could not give up. I had to keep holding on.

Now, that notebook is gone. The keep holding on, the memory if Sally. All of its gone. It still even had the smell of Sally's shop. The mix of peppermint, wood, dust, and the grandma smell that all old people had.

It's gone. I bet Avery has it. I bet she is making fun of me as I sit here. Ripping out the pages as I just sit here and cry.

I dig into my backpack an I pull out a sharpie. I start to write and draw on the wall. I take out a bunch of sharpies and really put some work into it.

here's what it came out as:

Then I get up and leave. I leave my sharpies, and I grab my bag and I leave.

I walk straight out of the school. I feel an absence though. It's quickly filled by something else.

My notebook is gone, but the depression is back.

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Hey guys! vote and comment! I'm tired so, love you guys! 😊❤️