Lyrics Left Me

*15*

Hey guys! The video is Colors by Halsey. Anyway...I think this book is probably going to have 20-25 chapters🙁. I'm also going to start posting author secrets at the end of chapters. Author secrets are secrets about the book that maybe we're mistakes or something, like maybe a character wasn't supposed to exist. Anyway, let's get to the chapter!

___________

The school day is finally over, and I could not be more grateful.

It has been a long day and all I want to do is go home and curl up into a little ball and cry.

You see, after lunch, things got bad.

Really bad.

Connor and I went to History together, and that was pretty okay. But, then of course, when I went to my free period, Avery, had to ruin my peace.

I went to the library ready to just take a nap. I was just so done already.

My body couldn't take anymore.

Avery comes up to me and starts telling me what trash I am, how I'm the biggest loser in school now, and how I wanted attention, well now I got it.

I was on the verge of tears, when she stops and walks away, then comes back with some pretty muscular looking guys. She whispers to them and then before I know it, I'm being carried out to behind the school.

Avery bends down and gets really close to my ear. She whispers "You will regret messing with me. This is just the beginning."

She gets up, and when the door closes behind her, I get picked up and smashed against the wall.

Several hits to the stomach, several slaps across the face.

I get thrown around, punched, kicked, slapped, beaten to the point where I can't feel it anymore.

The bell rings, telling me free period is over and it's time to go to my elective, creative expressions. It's my favorite class because the teacher just lets you express yourself in any way you can. Through art, music, writing anything.

But I don't feel like I can even move. The boys have left. I'm on the ground, I'm bleeding. I'm bruised. Inside and out.

I try to get up several times, but fail. On about the seventh attempt, I manage to stand.

I start to walk, and, miraculously, I made it to my class on time. This class, I decided for the first time I was going to record something.

I walk into the recording booth and take a few minutes to decide on a song.

I choose Gasoline by Halsey. I don't know why I chose this song, I just feel lured to the song. Nobody except Connor has ever heard me sing. This is going to be scary.

I hit play on the stereo and hit record at the same time. Here goes nothing.

"Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?
Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?
Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?
Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?" People look up and are confused to see I'm singing.

"Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?
Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?
Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?
Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?" Now people are gathering around the booth listening.

"And all the people say,

'You can't wake up, this is not a dream,
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,
With your face all made up, living on a screen,
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline.'

Oh, oh, oh, oh,
I think there's a flaw in my code,
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
These voices won't leave me alone,

Well my heart is gold, and my hands are cold,

Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?
Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?

And all the people say,

'You can't wake up, this is not a dream,
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,
With your face all made up, living on a screen,
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline.'

Oh, oh, oh, oh,
I think there's a flaw in my code,
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
These voices won't leave me alone,

Well my heart is gold, and my hands are cold." People clap and I know that maybe I gave that song too much energy. I feel like I can't stand up.

I walk out of the booth and go and sit down. The people disperse and go back to their business.

I decide to draw for the rest of the class when my teacher tells me to go to the nurse. I gather my stuff and head out the door.

The nurse decides to keep me for the rest of the class.

"How did you get these bruises?" She asks me.

"It's...umm...f-from uh....the accident I was in a couple weeks ago." I tell her, figuring I can pass all of this off as part of the accident.

She nods. "The bleeding, it seems...recent." She gives me a questioning look.

"I uh, I fell down on my way to class."

She sighs and gives me a look. "I know that's not what happened, but Avery does this to a lot of people, so I'm not going to press any further."

I'm shocked she knows this, but I keep my mouth shut and let her put on the bandages.

Then the bell rings, and that's where we are now.

I'm on the bus, and of course, people are throwing things at me, shouting names at me, soon enough, I'm crying.

The world hates me and I can't do anything about it.

Plus, the demons are joining in with everyone on the bus.

Shouting things, telling me just where I belong.

Of all the heads of all people in the world, why would I be chosen to have all the demons? Why must I suffer this constant torture?

_________

Hey guys! Terrible chapter I know. I'm sorry,I suffering from a severe case of writers block. I know how I want to play out the rest of the story, but I just don't know how to write it the way I want it. Anyway, first authors secret is: Connor was never supposed to exist. Originally, it was supposed to be about a lonely girl, fighting her way through depression. It was supposed to be exactly how it has gone, except, minus Connor. I just had the idea of adding him early in the story, and I went with it. Anyway, Vote, Comment, and Have a Happy New Year! (Also, hope you all had a Merry Merry Christmas) Comment if you have ever seen Petes Christmas! (If you haven't, it's on Netflix)