Victory and defeat

Hope

"You know, now that I think about it I've been having contractions all day"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I thought they were Braxton Hicks."
"ahh"
"Rollins you? Okay!?"
"contrction"
" Okay we need to get you to the hospital"
"Ok" I replied
They got me situated and the contractions were strong but still not close. They were 25 minutes apart. After 4 hours I was finally able to take a nap. With Liv by my side. I got woken 1 hour later by really bad pain. I shot up and started to cry.
"Aghhhhh" I screamed. Worst contraction yet. The doctor came back in and got me prepped.
"okay MS. Rollins I'm gonna a need a push"
I nodded and pushed. I screamed bloody murder. After 20 minutes of pushing I laid back with tears pouring down my face.
"Olivia, I can't do this"
"Yes you can you're strong"
"No it hurts"
Suddenly Liv stood up and sat on the bed. She moved me in front of her so I could brace against her.

"Okay My sweet Amanda, you can do this"

I pushed hard and braced on Olivia.

"That's it good girl, good girl Rollins."
I pushed super hard one last time and heard a loud cry.

"You did it Amanda, you did it" Liv said stroking my hair
I collapsed back on Olivia and she soothed me and I was still panting. I could hear my little girl slowly calming down. I looked up at Liv and she was smiling and happy for me.
"Thanks Liv"

She nodded and then pointed. I looked and saw that the nurse was bringing my cooing baby over. I was crying happy tears silently. She placed my baby in my arms and a huge smile spread over my face.

" Hi sweet girl" I cooed

I could see the tiny smile on her face as she grabbed my finger with her hand.

"Any name ideas yet?" The nurse asked sweetly
"Actually yes"
"Well?"
"Her name is Hope Olivia Rollins"
"That's so wet and adorable"

I smiled before looking back at the nurse.
"Excuse me but will the father of the child be coming?"
"Um no he will not be involved in our life"
"Okay then. We need to take Hope to the NICU to observe and monitor her"
"Alright, But Liv can you stay?"
"Sure Amanda anything for you"

Soon after Hope was transferred to the NICU I started to get a little sleepy.  I then laid back and grabbed Liv's hand.

"I know you're secret Liv"

She looked at me in shock. I had recognized her symptoms immediately. She had been sneaking off the the bathroom for a while over the sat few days. So one day I followed her and saw them. The tests.

"What do you mean Amanda?"
"I saw the tests"

I could see  the tears in her eyes. She looked terrified.

"Oh god" Liv started to cry
"I didn't know until a few weeks ago and I've been trying to hide the sickness but it's too  much. Every thing is setting me off. A few days ago I smelled Carisi's burrito and I was vomiting and dry heaving for 1 hour straight."
"Hey Liv it's okay. Trust me I know how you feel"
"Wait you're happy for me ?"
"Duh, Liv you're like the nice and supportive mom I never had and needed. Lord knows Savannah isn't a candidate for that."
"I'm pregnant" Liv laughed
"Our sweet Liv is going to be a mama again!
"I'm going to be a mom again"
"Have you told Noah?"
"No but I'm sure he will be excited to be a big brother"

I smiled and started to close my eyes. Liv sensed that I was falling asleep so she patted my hand. With that I pat the spot next to me on the bed with my free hand. She got up and lay down on it.

"May I?" I asked tugging her shirt
"Go ahead"
"Hi little baby benson. I just had a baby so when you come in a few months you and hope can be best friends."

Liv smiled and soon enough we both fell asleep.
Switches to 3rd person for a little bit
About 10 minutes later Carisi and Fin came in to Amanda's hospital room only to find Liv and Amanda asleep on her hospital bed.
"Wait Amanda just had a baby but why is Liv's shirt up?" Carisi wondered
"Oh my god" was all Fin said before realizing the situation.
"What?" Carisi wondered
"Liv is pregnant" Fin stated
"What?, How, and who?"
"Carisi wake up!" Fin said
"Who is it?"
Fin sighed

"Brian Cassidy you idiot"
"Oh" Carisi said

He had taken in a lot of information and it was about to get added to. At the sound of voices in the room Liv woke up. The first thing she realized where Fin and Carisi's shocked expressions. The second thing she realized was that her shirt was still up exposing her belly. She hurriedly pulled it down embarresed.

"You guys found out didn't you?"
"Yes how many weeks are you?"

Before Liv could answer Fin they jumped at a loud scream. Liv turned around and saw that Amanda was having a nightmare. She decided to get the scared, blonde fragile mom awake.

"No please" Amanda screamed in her sleep

That was the line Amanda repeated.

1st person
"Amanda sweetie, wake up!" Liv said jostling me awake.

I shot up in my bed shaking and literally sobbing.
"Amanda" Liv said gently

I started to cry more and shake

"Come here" Liv cooed to me

Hearing her soothing soft voice I leaned my head into her torso as she smoothed my hair out.