✔ Run Baby Run ✖ punk hood au

xxxix - acceptance

c a l u m:

This wasn't fear. This was a nightmare crafted by the Devil himself, and I didn't know if I were ever going to wake up. My heart raced, my stomach dropped, and I swore the pain felt worse than a bullet straight through the head. At the time I didn't know what emotions were grasping onto my heart, but they were feelings felt deeper than I could describe.

There was so much I wanted to do, but couldn't at the same time. As cliche as it sounded, this was a matter of life or death, and when it came to Fiora, death always triumphed. When I locked eyes with Gwen, seeing her for the first time in weeks, I wanted nothing more than to run into her arms. I wanted to hold her tight, kiss her, and cry out loud. She was so close to me, yet so far and I didn't know what to do.

Gwen had been home this whole God damn time; right under my nose and I didn't know. But despite it all, I had wished Gwen was back home in the U.S.. Because this fate; a fate that Fiora handpicked for the innocent girl with the long, dark hair was no fate at all: it was a death sentence.

"Calum..." Fiora spoke, his deep tone echoing in my ears and sending an indescribable chill straight down my spine.

"Y-yes," I responded, not exactly sure how to in a moment like this. I hadn't looked at Fiora yet, not when there was Gwen kneeling down before me, and an immaculate, black gun in my vision.

"You have fifteen seconds to decide," Fiora gave me an ultimatum and my eyes quickly averted to my evil boss, "or you both die."

And just like that, life as I knew it was over. This wasn't a video game that I could restart, or a painting I could try again. This was a reality I wanted nothing to be a part of. I turned my head slowly to look at Gwen, the only thing that I wanted to hold and to touch. There was something about her that I couldn't pin point; something that had me captivated from day one. I loved Janet, and part of me still does - but Gwen, I was in love with her, and life was an everlasting dream with her in it.

"Baby," Gwen gazed at me with eyes brimming with tears and laced with despair. Her voice was soft, yet clear and the very words that were about to escape her lips, were the very same ones that could kill me too. "It's okay."

I knew what she meant, and I shook my head in response. I was shocked, pissed, frustrated that Gwen's mind could even concoct a solution as twisted as hers.

"No!" I shouted through gritted teeth, "I won't!"

Gwen, in slow, cautious movements, stood up. She wasn't restrained, which seemed like a careless mistake on Fiora's part but he knew these girls inside and out - he hand picked them. He knew they wouldn't disobey him. Fiora and his men watched with a hawk eye at the girl I loved so deeply, watched as she took two small steps towards me. With trembling hands, and a perpetual gaze into my eyes, Gwen reached to touch my hand.

"Shh," Gwen breathed, keeping her voice steady and her demeanor calm. She held onto the hand which held onto the weapon, and with confidence she placed the gun's end to her forehead.

"Baby no," I cried, shaking my head. "Anything but this."

"I love you," Gwen declared, and just like that she accepted death; she accepted my life over hers.

I shuddered in my skin. I couldn't do it, and I refused to. Time was ticking down, and I only had four seconds to make a decision. Tonight there will be death, but it won't be Gwen's - I'd die protecting her. So I chose her over me, and quickly pointed the gun at my own head instead.

Fiora was distracted.

It was perfect. He pegged me for a weak boy; a frail thing with a selfish heart, but to suddenly aim the gun at my head was not an act of a scared little boy. It was an act of bravery, an act of sacrifice that Fiora didn't think I'd have in me. And it was that thought process that distracted him.