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xxiii - yours

g w e n:

Today was difficult.

Funerals are never an easy thing and while I didn't personally know Ashton, I could tell that he was deeply loved by several people. As I sat with Lauren during the reception, letting her reminisce about the fun times she had with her older brother, I could overhear guests discuss Ashton's death. From what everyone could understand, was that Ashton succumbed to the injuries from being jumped. But even I knew that wasn't the entire truth.

After numerous hugs, the Hemmings and I departed and shedding our black clothes. It was sunny, beautiful and seemed out of place for a funeral. But the more my skin was kissed by the warm Australian sun, I realized that it was as if Ashton was declaring that he was okay now. He was the sunshine in his mom's life, his siblings' life, in his friends' life and everyone else he touched. Ashton's funeral wouldn't have been complete without the sun, because its cascading rays were coming straight from the curly-headed, dimpled boy, radiating from the Heavens above.

I guessed I was more tired than I had thought, because when I finally woke up from my nap, the evening had set and darkness surrounded me. I sat up in my bed, turning on the bedside lamp and stretching for a few moments while I gathered the idea that it was indeed nightfall. As I stretched however, I felt a shooting pain at the pit of my stomach and a soreness all over my back and legs. When I threw my legs over the edge of the bed, that's when I felt it.

An all too familiar wetness pooling in my panties, and no, it wasn't from being sexually aroused. Aunt Flo, not from Progressive Insurance, had decided to show up today, which would explain the fatigue, soreness, cramps, and I could sense my taste buds yearning for something sweet. Maybe salty. Maybe greasy. But knowing me, it was probably all three.

"Tampons, pads, tampons, pads," I muttered to myself, as I rummaged through the drawers in the bathroom looking for my menstrual cycle essentials.

However, to my dismay, there was nothing but a light flow tampon sitting at the bottom of the drawer. I sighed, knowing that I had to get myself to the market to grab some more. I threw on a cardigan over the leggings and plain v-neck I was wearing and grabbed my purse. I slung it around my body, turning off the bedroom lights as I walked down the hall.

"Where you going?"

I turned around to see Luke's head sticking out of his bedroom door.

"Going to the market. I need some stuff," I told him.

"Do you need a ride?" he offered, and I could tell that he was trying to regain our friendship back. I hadn't exactly forgave him yet, but I wasn't upset with him any longer.

"No thanks Luke, I'm fine. I actually want to walk. I'd like some fresh air," I explained, earning a nod from him.

I know, I know, I'm on my period and I'd rather walk to the market than be chauffeured there. But I knew my body, and I had about three hours till maximum pain would shoot through my body like daggers to my uterus.

I descended down the stairs and into the foyer. I could see a few lights from the main part of the house and when I took a peek, Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings were in the kitchen playing cards and drinking wine. I ship them so hard. I was about to let them know where I was going, but they were so engrossed with their game, I decided not to bother them. I would be gone less than twenty minutes and Luke knew where I was off too, so I didn't think it was entirely necessary.

I slipped on a pair of combat boots, before unlocking the main door and walking out onto the front porch which was illuminated by the lantern. Putting a foot forward, I trekked down the steps and started my journey to the convenient store. I liked the calmness of the evening, and how all my senses seemed to be working at an all time high, keeping me vigilant in the darkness.