Love Letters

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And because this generator wasn't ridiculous enough, it also has a section to generate love letters smh


Letter 1: A letter of confession

Dear Lisa,

I cherish Ireland, where we first met. The moment I clapped eyes on you, I knew you were going to be a sexy sweetheart. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than a sexy sweetheart.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you running in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous snacking skills.

You have eyebrows like grubby squashes and the most dotty arm I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to kick those grubby squashe eyebrows and smoke that dotty arm.

You're so special with your spiky ways. The way you handle your useful best buddie shows great kindness and diligence.

I know that to you I'm just a sweaty rock but I think we could be happy together, prancing like two pointy owls.

Please, say you'll be mine Lisa!

All my love
Anonymous


Letter 2: You'll quickly figure it out

Goodbye Baby Ugly Dog (yes, this is the actual title)

Dear baby,

To me, you are like a very ugly dog and I'm not sure that I need a very ugly dog in my life right now.

Things started to go wrong when I caught you skipping with my half-brother.

It's not that I don't love you. It's just that your puppy is extremely sharp and your dad is, without a doubt, the most naughty person I've ever known.

It's true, we've had some ample times shouting together. You have chins like manky mange tout and the most great brain I've ever seen.

Your personality is like a really crazy ostrich walking into my skull. When I see you crashing it makes me want to steal your mange tout chins and post them to Australia.

I lie in bed at night wishing you were a famous actress and not a dog who likes skipping with my half-brother.

What I'm trying to say, is take your great brain and go.

Yours no more
You know who


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