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Love You Goodbye (Spamano)

Romano's POV:

It's been awhile.

It's been awhile since I've seen Grandpa Rome, or mi fratello Italy.

It's been awhile since I've been put into Spain's care.

It's been awhile since I've tried to die.

The first time I ever cut, it was simply because I had to leave Italy. I had to leave him to be forced into Spain's care. I hated leaving him. Especially with Austria. I never trusted Austria.

Eventually, the cutting got deeper, I started only eating tomatoes. Since they filled me up, but put very little nutrients in my body. Spain was too busy leaving to try and trade me for my brother to care.

That's another thing I hate. I hate how everyone loves my brother more. How I never seem to be good enough. How it's always "Italy this" and "Italy that". And I hate it. I hate how I'm never good enough. Not even for Spain.

So, that drove me over the edge. I signed off my country to Italy, and went to jump off a bridge, a sure way to kill me.

But I forgot one important detail. Italy had to sign too.

All of this never worked. Italy found out, and saved me before I could jump.

But one thing bugged me. It was only Italy. No one else tried to care.

Italy eventually left for good when Holy Roman Empire disappeared. He never visited, and just stayed at Austria's place.

It was just me and Spain.

After my attempt, Spain became a little cautious around me. He regularly checked my arms, and was always relieved when he didn't see any more new cuts. But he never checked my stomach.

I cut there regularly so he wouldn't see and try to help.

But it was too late for my emotions. All of his tries at caring are making me fall in love. And I hated it. Especially since it was tomato bastard.

He was always trying to get me to stop only eating tomatoes. But I was too self conscious. I needed to make sure I didn't gain too much weight. I didn't need to have a lot of meat on my bones.

Eventually, Spain went back to trying to get my brother. And it was killing me. But I tried not to let it show.

Right now, I was signing a paper to give my country to Spain, along with a suicide note. Spain would probably sign it. Hopefully.

I finished off the note, and locked myself in the bathroom. I found expired pills, probably just some pain medicine. I also found a razor, and decide to try both.

I had no idea when the pills would kick in, so I took some before I started cutting. They didn't seem to be kicking in so I grabbed some to take more. I was about to put them in my mouth, when I heard the door slam open. "Romano! Where are- no no no please don't be what I think this is..." He mumbled after bursting in. I started to panic, and got startled, so I drops the pill bottle and the razors. I heard the mumbling stop, and steps start to near the door. "R-Roma, p-please open the door. I-I don't want this to happen. P-Please, I'm begging you. Please just open the d-door," Spain begged. But I couldn't do it.

I was frozen in a panic attack.

I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want him of all people to try and stop me. Why, why did this happen?

I started panting, thinking pessimistic thoughts, and had a major panic attack. I couldn't stop it. I was starting to shake, and at this point I just cried out for Spain and Italy. "P-Please. I-I need s-some h-help. I-It hurts. S-Spain. Italy."