My Oneshot Book (X Readers and Ships) NO REQUESTS

All About Your Heart (Ereri)

Another songfic.
TRIGGER WARNING: CUTTING, DEPRESSION, AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH THIS PM ME. IMMEDIATELY. I love you all.
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Eren was in love.
But Eren was also addicted.
See, Eren was in love with his superior.
Lance Corporal Levi.
But, Eren was addicted to cutting. He had scars all over his body. Thighs, stomach, and wrists. His stomach had the most, and wrists the least. He was smart. He would mostly experience the excruciating pain in his stomach, therefore distracting from his arms and legs. His accidental collapsing rate was at a high once he started skipping meals. It was small at first. Claiming he slept in and missed breakfast, or trained during lunch, or saying he went to bed early and missed dinner. Until he heard rumors that Petra liked the Corporal, and that the Corporal reciprocated the feelings.
His cutting got worse.
He didn't try to make sure there were more on his stomach vs his wrists and thighs.
He locked himself in the basement, and made sure he had plenty of razors, and just cut and thought.
What is wrong with me, it's not like the Corporal of all people is fucking gay! Why had I had any hope I'm the first place? Maybe it's time I just go. I am a titan, after all. I have to make sure all of humanity and especially Levi are safe. I'll kill myself tonight. I'll leave a note and unlock the door. I have a blade, I'll cut my nape like how every titan should die.
Leaving Eren alone with his thoughts made him snap. It was decided: he'd sneak out late at night to get a fresh pair of 3DMG blades and cut his nape.
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The night came fast. It was soon the middle of the night. So, for the first time in five weeks, Eren unlocked his door, and left his room.
Eren was unbelievably unhealthy. He could barely walk. But he figured out a way. And he went outside for the first time in months. He snuck over to the training area and took a fresh pair of blades. But then he remembered something.
Damnit, I have to write a letter to let everyone know about the Corporal.
So Eren snuck into the only place he could think of that had pen and paper: Corporal Levi's office.
Yet Eren forgot one important detail: the Corporal's office was also his bedroom.
So by Eren opening the door, the one and only Lance Corporal Levi woke up to a stumbling Eren trying desperately to get a pen and paper. Levi was dumbstruck: no one had seen the green-eyed boy in over a month. Levi was also scared. The boy had two blades, could barely stand, and had obviously been crying. Levi knew what was going on, but didn't want to admit the boy he loved was cutting. He couldn't bring himself to even think that.
So he decided to ask.
"Oi, brat, what the hell are you doing?"
As soon as those words left his mouth, Eren froze.
Eren couldn't think. He had been caught. How was he going to get himself to explain this one? And to Levi of all people.
"C-Corpor-"
"Levi. My names not Corporal, my names Levi." Levi interrupted.
"L-Levi, I just needed some p-paper and a p-pen. Sorry for w-waking y-you." Eren was a stuttering mess.
"What in the hell do you need paper and pen for this late in the night?"
"T-to write a n-note s-Levi."
"What kind of note?"
Damnit, I can't get out of this one.
"A suicide note, sir."
So that was the one thing Eren could get out without stuttering.
"Not on my watch you little brat. Get your ass over here and explain."
Eren was terrified. Who knew what was going to happen?
He's probably going to beat me senseless, Eren thought.
"Y-Yes s-sir" he spluttered.
He went over to the edge of the Corporal's bed, head down.
"Look at me, damnit." Levi said coldly.
"In afraid I c-can't do t-that." Eren responded.
"Eren, stop with this nonsense. You're not fucking killing yourself. I've lost too many people I love, so get your ass over here and look at me."
Eren immediately looked up with tears in his eyes.
"Stop it. Don't you think that's a little cruel?" Eren asked.
"What?"
"Lying to me because I have the slightest chance of helping humanity. You dont love me, you love Petra. I heard it. Just before I stopped eating and sleeping. Those meals outside my door never went down my stomach. You'd be disappointed. My rooms a mess. It's covered with stale bread and blood. I'm sorry. It looks like I'll only ever be a disappointment. And you can't love me. I'm covered with scars. Literally everywhere on my body. I'm only still alive because of my titan healing abilities. Most other people would be dead. So sir, namely because I'm a danger to the one person I love, you, and humanity as a whole, I will cut my nape, and I'm sorry, but you won't change my god damn mind. Now, forget me, and have a nice life. Kill all the other titans for me."
Eren had finally cracked. He snapped when Levi said he'd loved him.
And Levi saw it.
He was happy, scared, and pissed all at the same time.
He was happy he returned his feelings.
He was pissed that Eren thought he didn't care.
And he was scared Eren was going to win this argument.
But Levi wasn't going down without a god damn fight.
So Levi grabbed Eren, and pulled him towards himself.
Eren screamed out in pain, considering he was gripping his arm very hard.
"Eren, stop this. I do love you. Petra loves me, but I don't return the feelings. I love you, not her.  I won't let you hurt yourself anymore. I love you so much, I can't lose another person I love. I can't let you go, Eren. Just put aside your own thoughts and listen for a god damn minute! Just be with me, I'll help you through this. Just please, stay here with me. Please, Eren. I can't lose you too."
Eren stood there in shock.
"How?"
Now it was Levi's turn to be shocked.
"What do you mean, how?"
"How can you love me? I'm mentally screwed up, I'm littered in scars and new cuts, and I just admitted to wanting to fucking kill myself! How can you still love me?"
Levi could feel him slipping away.
His sanity was leaving.
"Eren, I love you for you. Your scars make you who you are. Its not about your scars, it's all about what's on the inside. I fell in love with you, Eren, and I'm in too deep to let you go."
Eren was moved.
Maybe, for once, it's not bad to love someone.
Eren collapsed and sobbed. Levi got out of bed to hold him. Levi sat there patiently while Eren sobbed into his shirt.
After what felt like hours, Eren stopped sobbing. he looke up at Levi and muttered two words.
"Thank you."
Levi shed a few tears of his own.
"Anything for you."
Eren smiled his first real genuine smile in years.
Levi took this chance to kiss him.
Eren, being so young, hadn't experienced his first kiss yet. He was nervous. So, he did what Levi did. He soon got the hang of it, and was very happy. Levi soon pulled away for air. And smirked.
"Was that your first kiss?"
Eren immediately started blushing.
"M-Maybe"
Levi' smirk only got bigger. He leaned down by Eren's ear and said,
"That's not going to be your only first."
((SMUT WARNING: FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT. SORRY IF IT SUCKS))
Eren just looked up wide eyed.
"D-Do you m-mean that?" He asked nervously.
He was inexperienced. He didn't want to disappoint Levi. For all he knew, he was going to suck.
"If your ready. I'm not going to pressure you. And don't worry, I won't be disappointed. You're beautiful."
Eren felt better, but wasn't convinced he was beautiful. I mean, he hadn't eaten a real meal in five weeks. Just the occasional piece of bread.
He was nothing but bones and scars.
"B-But I'm completely covered in scars, and I've only had a piece of bread two weeks ago. I'm far from beautiful."
"And why should that matter? It's not about your scars. It's about your heart.
Just shut up and let me love you."
Eren smiled genuinely again. He just nodded.
Levi smiled.
He actually smiled.
"I love you so much Eren."
Levi picked Eren up and gently set him on the bed. Levi the removed Eren's shirt to see the full damage done.
He was expecting a lot, but not this much.
"Oh, Eren, baby."
Levi cried when he saw that amount of scars. He actually cried.
Eren was covered in them. Not even an inch inbetween each. They littered him.
And he was just bones. His ribs were so close to breaking the skin.
What could have done this to this poor boy?
"I love you. Never do this again. I love you so much."
Eren teared up.
He's already disappointed. I'm such a disappointment. He can't love me. Im too messed up.
"I'm sorry. I'm such a mess up. I'm so sorry. I can't do anything right. I'm so sorry you ever had to look at me."
Levi was shocked.
How can he still think like this?!
"God damnit Eren. I love you. I love you so much. Don't ever think like that again. You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It not about your scars. Those don't change your beauty. Just don't do this again. I can't risk losing you. I can't. I love you."
"I love you too."
Levi started kissing each and every cut and scar, starting at his wrists, moving to his chest, and then down to his stomach. When he got to his pants, he quickly undid them.
And he saw even more cuts and scars.
He just continued kissing each one.
Eren was trying so hard to hold in moans. It felt so good.
"T-This isn't f-fair Levi. You need to l-lose some c-clothes t-too."
Levi chuckled at that.
He complied, removing his shirt while straddling Eren.
Eren was shocked.
Levi was small, but he sure was built. He sported a very visible eight pack.
Eren felt bad. He didn't have muscles like him.
Levi bent down to Eren's ear and whispered in a seductive voice, "Is that better?"
Eren could only nod.
Levi continued kissing up Eren's legs.
When he reached his boxers, he looked up to Eren for permission.
But what he saw was permission enough.
Eren was panting and sweating. Losing control, only from that.
Well, it is his first time.
Levi practically ripped Eren's underwear off.
Eren gasped when he finally was naked. On instinct, he closed his legs and reached down to cover himself.
This is embarrassing. He thought.
"No."
That wasn't Eren, that was Levi. He did not like that. Levi grabbed Eren's wrists and pinned them above his head with one hand. Levi leaned down to kiss Eren. This time, he licked Eren's bottom lip. Eren, being inexperienced didn't know what that meant. Levi didn't like it when Eren didn't open his mouth for him. So Levi's hand wandered dangerously close to Eren's member. Eren wiggled in Levi's grip and gasped at the new sensation. Levi took this opportunity to enter Eren's mouth. His toungue explored all it could before he ran out of breath. Levi immediately went to Eren's neck, leaving bites everywhere he could. But he stopped when he heard Eren let out a strangled gasp and then moan.
"Found it."
Levi watched as Eren struggled to break free from Levi's grip. "P-Please! I won't c-cover m-myself. P-please!" Eren begged. Levi let go, only for Eren to weave his hands in Levi's hair. Levi's hands went to run up and down Eren's sides. Levi then stopped and lifted three fingers to Eren's mouth.
"Suck. They need to be wet."
Eren complied with no question. He licked all three fingers until they were wet. Levi pulled his fingers from Eren's mouth.
"Shh, Eren. Relax. This is going to hurt baby okay? Don't worry. It'll feel better okay?"
Eren nodded his head and tried to relax as much as he could.
Levi slipped his down Eren's back and entered the first finger.
Eren immediately gasped.
"Does it hurt?"
"A-A l-little. But it m-mostly feels w-weird."
"Just give it a minute. It'll feel a lot better."
Eren listened, and then Levi started to move the finger. Eren gasped and moaned. Just this one finger felt so good for him.
So Levi added the second.
Now, this one hurt.
"L-Levi! Ngh, t-that h-hurts!" Eren shouted.
This wasn't like anything he felt before. It hurt, but felt good.
"Shh, Eren, just give it a minute. I have to do this or else it'll hurt a lot worse. It's gonna hurt, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Do you want to stop?" Levi asked. He really was worried for Eren. He hated seeing him in pain like this.
"N-no I'm okay. I w-wanna do t-this. Just m-move. I trust y-you."
Levi just fell harder for him when he heard that he trusted him.
So Levi started scissoring open Eren. Eren would only let out little grunts of pain.
Until Levi found that one spot.
As soon as Levi hit the one spot, Eren screamed in pure pleasure. While Eren was distracted with the pleasure, Levi added in the third finger. He kept on hitting that one spot that made Eren scream his name. Levi loved the sounds so much. It sounded like heaven to him. Eren's moans, gasps, and screams were so beautiful.
Sadly, Levi knew he was coming close to the edge. So Levi took his fingers out.
Eren was confused. Why had he stopped?
His question was answered when Levi started taking off his pants and boxers.
Holy shit, he was going through with this.
Eren just stared at Levi's member as soon as he pulled it out.
How the fuck was that going to fit inside Eren?
Levi sensed his nervousness so decided to distract him by kissing and biting his neck. Eren started moaning immediately. When Levi felt like he was distracted enough, he started pushing in. As soon as Eren felt this, he gasped and started crying.
It hurt so bad.
Levi didn't want to hurt him, so he let him adjust a little. Levi moved up to kiss Eren's lips. Eren tried to kiss back through the tears. When Eren started moving his hips back into Levi, Levi took that as the go ahead to push in further. He put it in all the way and stopped for Eren to adjust. He went back to kissing him and trying to distract him. When Eren started moving his hips, Levi started moving. At first, Eren was iffy. Just as he was about to say he couldn't do it, Levi hit that spot again.
Eren immediately screamed.
He started trying to move his hips to get Levi to hit there every time.
Levi was loving how tight Eren was. And then the way he squeezed around him when he hit his prostate was amazing. He started speading up to just get more sounds from his beautiful mouth.
Realizing he was really close to the edge, Levi grabbed his member and started pumping. Eren immediately thrusted up into Levi's hand and screamed again. He immediately snapped. And when Levi felt him tighten around him when he climaxed, he climaxed too.
"Holy shit. I love you so much."
That was all Eren said before going to sleep.
If he stayed up just a little longer, he would have heard Levi say,
"I love you so much. I'll protect you forever, I promise. "
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What the fuck did I just write.
Oh shit.
SO I FOUND A FUCKING LEVI AMV THATS MESSING WITH MY HEAD
IS THERE SOME LEVI EPISODE IN THE ANIME I DID NOT FUCKING SEE.
BECAUSE THIS HAS FUCKING ISABEL AND FARLAN AND ITS FUCKING ANIMATED JUST LIKE AOT SO IS THERE A LEVI EPISODE I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
please help me. This is driving me crazy.
This took me 3 hours to write omfg.
Well byeeeee
Let me know about the anime.
~Lizico
Update: found the OVA. Made me cry