Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 43

Max stepped back into the room to find Sarah and Milosh waiting for him. "Is back! Milosh is very happy." Milosh gave Max a big warm hug.

"Any luck finding that Warlord guy yet?" Sarah asked.

"Not so far," Max said. "Just some prick cartoon mouse. Luckily I was able to defeat him using my brilliant wits. He's probably smeared over ten miles of train track by now. Between you and me I'm really glad that plan worked. The next thing I was going to try was dressing up like a sexy lady mouse and hope he fell in love with me. So what's been going on here?"

"My uncle and that Lothar guy went back to the lab to study the doors some more. Maurice stayed with them to provide assistance, since that's kind of his thing. I helped them carry the doors back there. Unfortunately, Vance had escaped by the time we got back. There was a tiny smashed chair and some broken ropes. My uncle thinks the shrinking ray wore off of him before it wore off of the chair he was tied to and that's how he was able to bust loose. At any rate he took off and there's no sign of him."

"Damn it," Max said and reached for his flask, which wasn't there. "Damn it," he said again.

"Oooh, pretty explosion," Milosh said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Max asked.

"Spaceship blew up," Milosh said. "Is riding through space on a bed with my friends now. Is also playing spirited game of dodge ball back on Ingleblott."

"That means absolutely nothing whatsoever to me," Max said. "Sarah, you like to speak lots of gibberish. Do you know what he's talking about?"

"I don't have the slightest clue," Sarah shrugged. "And what do you mean I like to speak lots of gibberish?"

"I don't know. You chicks are always blabbering about something or other. I usually try to tune you out. Unless, of course, you're offering to buy me a drink, cook me a meal, or bestow sexual favors upon me."

"I forgot how charming your sexism can be," Sarah said. "You've actually been halfway tolerable to hang out with lately. Don't push it, frog."

"Halfway tolerable, you say," Max said. "I knew it. You're warming up to me. We're going to be boinking for sure in the very near future. And that's toad to you, lady."

"Why don't you go explore another universe?" Sarah said.

"I think I will," Max said. "That creep's got to be somewhere with my flask. After I get it back I'll return and we'll have ourselves a little celebration. I'll even let you give me a hand job, if you want."

"Is not sure what hand job is, but okay," Milosh said. "Milosh likes celebrations."

"I wasn't talking to you, mister," Max said. "Jeez, I've gone way too long without getting shit-faced. If I don't find this guy this time we're hitting a bar when I get back. You got it?"

"Is singing traditional Ingleblottian drinking song at the tavern right now," Milosh said. "Is also really schooling self in a game of shuffleboard."

"Whatever you say, big guy," Max said as he moved the door to another location and flung it open. "Let's see where the hell this thing goes now."

*

Max found himself in a small, dark, messy room. Some guy was sitting in a beat up swivel chair while staring at a bright screen and typing away. Max sneaked up quietly behind him and peeked over his shoulder. On the screen he read about himself entering a small, dark messy room where some guy was sitting in a beat up swivel chair, staring at a bright screen and typing away. Then he read the part where he sneaked up behind the guy and started reading over his shoulder.