Shawn's POV:
Speaking of my haunting childhood to Adison makes me want to be sick, she shouldn't have to be exposed to the horrors of my life, especially when you're supposed to think of the one you love's family as a nice and safe topic.
"It got worse?" Her voice cracks and I can tell she's practically holding her breath to keep herself from crying, and if I had to admit something, it would be that I had a hard time keeping my composure when it came to the topic of Adison losing her mom. Maybe we both have some really screwy childhoods.
Memories come flying in my head a million miles per hour, ones that would keep someone up at night shaking in hate and fear in their bed. Or maybe have them in tears.
Like the hundreds of times I could hear my parents loudly fighting and swearing each other off, my mom sobbing in the process, and then a shriek of pain from contact of hand to cheek. Many times I'd love to hear the same sound of excruciating pain come from my father, he deserved it much more than it was even comprehendable. I can't even imagine myself explaining half of this to her so I just start with things that are more important than the little details.
"Well things continued much like that night where he hit my mom, that's why I call him the drunken abuser," i chuckle darkly at my beer bottle and take another swig. Alcohol makes me forget things in this world that are too dark to belong in my head.
Adison breathes deeply and rests her head on my chest, gripping my forearm for dear life.
"Fast forward to when I'm 16 and I guess you could say I snuck around a lot. At night I'd sneak out, I wouldn't come home after school until midnight and no one would know where I went, but It was all just to avoid that jerk. The only thing to get my mind off of anything was guitar. Man."
I breathe out regretting my choice to ever stop playing the thing that kept me happy when World War was taking place in my own household. That beautiful guitar was that splash of color in a black and white painting.
"My dad still didn't have a job, money was running dangerously low, so low to the point where I'd literally question if i was going to have dinner, breakfast was always out of the question. So I sold my happiness for $200 to a kid at school and fed myself for about 3 and a half weeks. Here's where hell breaks loose babygirl, I don't like seeing you this upset so I'll stop-"
"No," she cuts me off, looking up at me so I can make eye contact with those stunning green eyes of hers that are glossed in tears, "this is your story, it doesn't define you but I want to learn everything I possibly can."
"Alright, well I come home one night, earlier than usual, and my dad's on the couch drinking a beer and watching sports, and he sees me. He tells me to go get him a beer and when I come back from the fridge saying there is no more he goes ballistic. He threw his bottle so hard at me that it breaks on my head, and he beats the shit out of me. I'm not talking a couple punches Adison, I'm talking legitimate beating, kicking, punching, slamming against walls, until I was crippled on the floor crying. The worse part was that my mom was just watching, not doing anything to help."
"God shawn I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve any of that." She balls her fists up in anger, letting out a strangled sob.
"Things got better once I moved in with ian," i coo to make her feel better, stroking her hair and back, losing my angered tone, "i was safe, he didn't touch me again."
"I wish I could've been there to help," she cries, sitting up and hugging me with great force.
"I'm thankful you weren't there," i whisper into her neck, just realizing that I was crying, softly, the entire time.
"You just look so hurt baby," she wipes away a couple tears that have made their way down my burning hot cheek.
"I'm used to it darling, but that was the past, I have a whole future that has nothing, and will have nothing to do with him. Ever."
Having a dad like that is a motivator to be a better man than he ever was, I will not be that drunken ass hole that treats everyone around him like shit. I'm above that.
I always will be.
________________________________________~shawn has some heavy shit.
~Leah
