Adison's POV:
* 2 months later*
Over the course of the past 2 months, life has been challenging, but weirdly doable, considering shawn's still pushing on with his schoolwork and job as an architect assistant. As for me, I'm still going to attend school for as long that is possible, knowing I might draw too much attention to my growing stomach which is now a small bump, but my real concern is my dad.
Telling him, i know, broke his heart. As sad as that sounds, I can also understand where he's coming from. I know how much he wanted me to attend law school and become a lawyer like I've always dreamt, but he wasn't happy with this large curve in plans. So when I told him, I wasn't surprised at all with what he said...
***flashback***
"Adison, w-who? Why? Why weren't you careful? What about school?" The voice of my father rings in my ear as pure disapointment.
"Dad I'm sorry, I-its just things changed and the dreams i have for my future have changed." I smile softly to myself at the thought of shawn, of us being together. I may not be able to finish out the last semester but I have larger things in mind.
"Do you even know the man that got you pregnant?" There's a low anger in his voice directed towards shawn, blaming him for my, I guess you could say "problems."
"Very well actually, but you won't let me introduce you." I huff rolling my eyes at my dad's lame attempt to try and shame me.
"I don't want to know him," His voice was almost inaudible but I still picked up on the snide remark.
"Then don't worry about it, none of this is your concern."
And with that, I hung up the phone.
***end of flashback***
I have to admit, hearing the fact that my own dad didn't want to meet the father of my child stung a lot. It's almost as if I can't do anything right anymore. After all, for three years after mom's death he blamed me, as if it's my fault things like cancer exist in this world.
I ponder these thoughts while lightly laying my hand on my bloated stomache and flipping through channels, my needing to do yet another English essay, is pushed far back in the drawers of my mind.
The professor wasn't exactly pleased with my spontaneous re-done essay on romeo and juliet, constantly rolling his eyes at our small presentation.
"I don't think he enjoyed it very much yeah?" Shawn mused, trying to hold back laughter as we took our seats back with the other students.
"When has he liked anything I've written?"
I smile to myself at the memory as spongebob flashed on my screen.
Didn't I pass this already?
Sighing, I look at the clock seeing it's almost eight, meaning shawn should come over soon, and maybe bring some more boxes of his stuff. It's quite dark outside and the snow is only visible because of the porch light I have put on for him so it isn't too dark when he comes home.
The excitement for this baby has been unreal and nerve wracking for the both of us, not knowing what to expect out of something so wonderful. The best part is the feeling of slowly falling more deeply in love with him every waking day.
I adore him.
I adore the crinkles by his eyes when he smiles really wide, and when he gets nervous how he'll run his hand through his beautiful brown locks, and I adore the way his Adams apple bobs up and down when he throws his head back laughing in pure joy.
I love the way shawn will say my name in his raspy morning voice, and wrap his arm around my waist while whispering cute things in my ear to make getting up for the day less dreaded, and most of all I love his natural Cologne that makes my heart melt to puddles.
I want to be able call him mine for forever, but I don't want to bring something up that's so sudden such as marriage, when he's already nervous and stressed out over his future. There's one one more month of college left and the stress factor is through the roof. So for now, the small act of moving in with each other will have to be enough, saving real planning for later in life for when we will be able to afford luxuries such as a big house.
The narrow front door swings open to reveal the tall face of shawn, worn from working and being at school all day, and the effects of studying.
"Hey babe," i smile, patting the spot next to me hoping he'll just relax and sit down.
"Hey," he nods, practically yawning, "I'll bring a couple things upstairs but after can we cuddle and talk?" He seems worried which puts me off in an unsettling way.
"Yeah sure hun, do you need help?"
Shawn nods his head no and shuffles inside carrying a large box labeled "textbooks."
After maybe 10 minutes he comes back down and falls in my lap with a huff of air.
"Adison," he starts, looking pissed off at the world, "you have no idea how done with everything I am."
I try showing sympathy by stroking his hair and sighing with him, "i know baby but exams will be over, and you won't have to worry about it."
"No," he snaps, carrying a tone, slapping my hand away from his hair, "not exams Adison, I'm talking about this. The baby, a job, j-just everything."
His words sting, making me want to fight back but I hold my tongue, "it'll be okay."
"Don't act like you know what this is like, you don't have to drag your ass to class anymore, you have online classes and everything is turning close to impossible." He sits up, scooching away as if this whole thing is my fault.
"And you most definetly shawn don't know what it's like to be pregnant. Don't you dare blame shit on me."
Covering his face he stands up and makes his way to the stairs, trying to think through everything.
"Are you even going to try to talk about this shawn?" I say rolling my eyes.
"No, no, it's just I'm tired, I'm fine, you did nothing wrong. I just need sleep."
I get up and wrap my arms around him, feeling bad that I've been working him so hard, "don't worry, just go to bed and I'll meet you up there." Kissing his cheek I turn off the tv and head to the small, but manageable kitchen to put away chips and cereal I took out.
"We'll get through this right Adison?" He sounds helpless and in need of 10 years of sleep.
"Of course shawn, there's nothing we can't get through."
________________________________________~ I lowkey h9 myself
~leah
