(this update is purely to shed some light on the question, why can't she just leave? the end of this chapter gives you information.)
*one week later*
Adison's POV:
The man I used to know for so long early in our relationship, is no longer the man that greets me everyday, my love for him remains compassionate, and strong. Spending my days trying to fix all that is wrong is becoming tiresome, and the silence we share is eerie, just waiting for him to blow up.
Most nights, he's drunk, and I'm unable to make out words as he hits me and rages, which makes the matter more confusing than ever dreamed. When he tells me what I need to change they come out in inaudible mumbles and grunts as the contact is made from hand to cheek, or fingers to ribs. I do not wish to live much longer under these circumstances, but truthfully and honestly, i have confidence this all will change, and slowly he is.
As I sit on the couch, staring at the blank TV, the front door to our home opens, causing my hands to shake and my breathing to speed up, not wanting to face the unpredictable person behind me.
"Adison?"
He weakly calls out, sounding strangely broken and small, something I haven't heard since college. That sound alone makes my heart do flips and the butterflies that have been hibernating for years, all of the sudden come to life.
"Yes?" i respond sweetly, taking advantage of the change in his attitude, his attitude towards me.
"I'm so sorry," Shawn makes his way slowly to the couch, sitting beside me, his eyes are the caramel like warmth I have grown used too, "I am so so sorry baby."
The act of kindness makes a lump swell in my throat, trying to remember the last time he has called me baby, it's been too long and I'm so used to it being that way.
Pained tears make their way down his flushed cheeks from the cold, and the sight of my lover being so distressed makes my heart hurt.
"It's alright," my voice cracks, knowing the tears he shed and the apology are sincere, "I'm okay."
"I turned into my father a-and," he breathes in and wraps his arms around his torso, holding himself together, "I-I never meant for any of that to happen darling."
Memories of us sitting on the couch in my old rented house, speaking of our past floods in my mind, almost making me cringe.
Everything used to be so perfect.
"Y-you are not your father," I pathetically stutter, convincing myself and him at the same time, "Your father never changed but you are."
My words weaken him, Shawn slumps into the couch, staring at the coffee table in front of him.
A good night, that's what I call this, he's having a good night, gaining some sense back into his twisted mind.
"I love you." the soft words can barely be heard, but they're there, coming from his mouth.
"and you should know I have always loved you Shawn."
I feel a sense of confidence as this exchange of words take place.
Maybe there is hope.
_____________________________________________________________________________________~for those of you wondering why our beloved character Adison hasn't just left I'm going to inform you on domestic violence relationships.
:A woman might fear her partner's actions if she leaves
:The effects of abuse might make it difficult for her to leave such as "I'm so used to living this way."
:The partner's attempt to isolate the woman makes it difficult for her to seek help, such as "ask me before leaving the house."
:The woman might hope for change.
if any of you are wondering why shawn might be like this, it's because most people, if they have grown up seeing abuse take place, and the one being abused hasn't done anything to stop what is going on, they often take on after the abuser, not learning other healthy ways to be in a relationship.
there you are lovelies i hope this helped.
~Leah
