Across waters.

Six.

The weeks seemed to have flown by. I was waiting at the airport waiting for the guys to walk through the arrival gates. I've had the shittest two weeks and I just wanted to be in Zak's arms. Their plane has landed and I was getting so excited. It's only been 2 months since we've started hanging out but it's been the best 2 months and I was developing feelings for Zak.

In the distance I see a tall man, wearing a beanie and his signature glasses. Yep, that's my man. I stood there smiling like an idiot and hoping he'd look up and see me. I see Aaron smiling and waving like a doofus, I was glad to see his cheeky smile. Zak looked up and I started running towards him. It felt like I wasn't running fast enough, I reached my arms out trying to get to him faster. It's like his been gone for months.

I was finally secured in his arms. To feel that body against mine was all I needed. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his body. I didn't know if the guys knew about Zak and myself, but I planted and massive kiss and Zak reciprocated it. We stood there just kissing, it felt like the world had stopped spinning and froze.

We picked up the luggage and walked back to the car. Zak and myself left and the guys went in another car. I told Zak how much I've missed him. Zak was re-assuring me that he was lost without me. He asked me if I've been having any more nightmares and I turned away and instantly got mad. He kept on it and I wasn't having it, I don't know where this built up anger was coming from but I didn't want to unleash on Zak. I could feel the hatred spreading. Zak and I where silent.

We pulled up in his garage and he asked me to come up. I grunted and told him I just want to go home, alone. I didn't want to take it out on him but this was getting out of control. I walked through his kitchen and headed to the front door, as soon as I opened it Zak came and slammed it shut. "What is going on? You where fine 30mins ago and now you're being grumpy bum! I've done nothing wrong! So what's up" he yelled at me. My body reacted to his yelling negatively. "Stop hounding my ass about sleeping. I don't pressure you about your past. I want to forget this ever happened but it doesn't leave me alone!" To being full of firing, red, hot anger to emotionally exhausted. I crumbled. Zak stared at me with an empty look. "It haunts me all day, every day and nothing helps. I've had to live with such guilt and still it haunts me. Zak this nightmare is my reality. It's my karma. I don't wanna hurt you through it all. You don't deserve this" I ran out the door and kept running. This was handled wrong in so many ways.

One hour later I arrived home, the walk was good for me. I crumbled on my couch and regretted how I spoke to Zak. It was wrong, but Zak doesn't deserve this pressure. Vegas was an escape but my life was catching up. I took a warm bath and laid wide awake in bed. My phone kept going off and I was ignoring it.

I felt the old, rusty ropes he used to tie me up. I could feel the blade slicing down my body. I remember his harsh words and his hell fire breath running down my ear. I can feel my lungs hurting from the screaming I did, but I knew no one could hear me. We where deserted, but I kept screaming.

I woke up in a panic, it was 11pm and someone was at my door. It was Zak, I look at him and opened the door. "I need to know what happened. I want to help, this is what I do. I can help you." I believed every word he said but still my stomach was twisting about the idea of telling him. "I can't help you unless you tell me. I care about you and it's breaking my heart that you can't trust me. I hated being away and knowing you where going through these nightmares and I couldn't help. Please?" I sat him down on the bed ready to explain it all, I held back the tears and I began...