Trains and Tailors

SMUT EXTRA!

A/N: YOOOOOO. Hi. Hello. Err, so I was deleting some files off of my laptop and came across some writing I did for Trains and Tailors when I had a different plot idea for the story. I didn't write much for it, as it wasn't working for me. But, I did write a whole smut section and I don't see any point in deleting well-crafted smut haha. Just in case you want this to make some kind of sense- my original plot idea was to have Dan and Phil start having an affair, during the suit making and wedding preparations. But, I decided I preferred having less sexual content in the story (i know, I'm as shocked as you are.) And the following writing is smut based off of what one of these encounters would have been like. A quick little disclaimer- the smut I wrote for the published piece was really tame for me, but this is a little more graphic so you've been warned haha. And Phil hints that he thinks being gay is an 'illness'. And also, there are no condoms because of the period and lack of sexual health information. BUT PLS WEAR A CONDOM KIDS PLS PLS PLS PLSSSSS!! BEING SAFE IS SEXY, YEAH? GOOD COOL THANKS.

And also, pls don't whine about the fact Dan tops. Like, It may just be me, but I really think it's kinda homophobic and gross to argue/ask/presume what gay couples do in the bedroom, because you wouldn't ask a straight person what their preferences would be. Therefore, it's an act of discrimination- in my eyes. And like, I would hope no one would feel the need to shit on my choices as the writer of these two characters, but people have been so I felt a need to explain myself haha. Dan is the one who mostly tops in this universe because that is just who I saw Dan as. Phil did try it once, but he didn't enjoy being the one in charge. Phil gets the most enjoyment from being bottom and that's the end of it. While these two characters may be based off Dan and Phil, they are still very much their own creation, because this is an AU after all. So, even though you shouldn't really be saying it about the real dan and phil either, these pair are a creation by me that only have certain similarities of real life dan and phil. SOOOO, I get to decide who these people are and what kind of sex they like to have! Yeyyyyy, being a writer is fun and I will notttt be bullied by people to stick with the boring status quo *inserts hsm reference*

Anyways, I've rattled on for long enough lmao. ENJOYYYYYYY .

- Aaron

We'd agreed to meet in the barn after drinks and tea. Dan planned it a few evenings prior to the dinner, and to my dismay I had agreed to come. I was surprised when he first came out with the suggestion; trying to find an hour of privacy is hard enough to come by on a normal day, so searching for an excuse for us to both slip away from tonights company seemed futile. We thought up some ways to escape unnoticed, but most of them involved murder, kidnap or eloping- so those were never going to be seen through. In the end however, we decided on figuring it out spontaneously on the night. Which is why I find myself soaked in wine, itching from hay and in the foulest of moods to match the foulest of smells- animals and their excretion.

I know Dan never meant for it to cause quite as much contortion as it did, but it's still the bastards fault. We'd finally got to the end of dinner, and the swarms of Lou's relatives and friends flooded the backroom. This is when Dan and I had originally planned to scarper. But because luck is so obviously on my side, that's when Louise's grandmother decided to pester me on work and family life. She apparently wants six grand-children, because her mother had three. I'm not quite certain on why that is relevant. Still, I never bothered asking or even attempted trying to pull myself away from the conversation, as that woman is insufferable if you try to interrupt her.

I could only cast my eyes to Dan and shrug my shoulders in defeat. He did look disappointed and annoyed that the evening wouldn't be ending the way he'd anticipated it to, but I couldn't do anything about it. So, of course, Dan decided to do something about it.