"What are you doing?" I exclaim in a stronger voice this time, planting my hands on his chest and attempting to shove him off.
Zayn draws back his head, my skin still tingling from where his lips had been seconds ago.
"What am I doing?" he asks dumbfounded.
"You tell me."
Zayn blinks hard, forehead furrowing in confusion. "I'm -I'm not sure."
I feel his slender fingers leave my stomach, pulling out from under my shirt and smoothing the fabric back down. He takes a large step back, running both hands through his hair.
"What am I doing..." he whispers, crouching down and leaning back on his heels.
My mind is spinning, it's out of control because
He. Just. Kissed. Me.
I let my hand go up to my mouth, pressing against my lips and feel the ghost of his kiss. That's not right, not with Zayn. No no no this is wrong, so very wrong. All I can see is Louis's face the morning he got shot, smiling lazily in the early sunlight and blinking back sleep. It was warm and felt right and he was there to chase away the shadows.
He was my knight. And here I am being kissed while my knight is frozen, locked inside his own body. The wrongness of it all stings.
"I'm sorry." Zayn mumbles, his voice breaking across the surface of my thoughts.
I stare at him for a second, not sure how to reply. His brown eyes seem murky. Full of depression and held in tears and lack of sleep that builds up after a while. Zayn Malik is in the most true form, utterly exhausted.
He bites his lower lip, "I don't know what came over me, I'm just so....I'm so done. Everything's just too much. I just love you so much. We all do."
Love. 4 letters, one syllable. It means so much and can do so much change. Such a powerful word. The effect it has on me makes it only so much harder to talk. My tounge suddenly feels to large for my mouth as I fumble around for words.
"It's okay." I say, meaning the exact opposite. It's not okay, not in any way shape or form. The lie tastes sour in my mouth.
His hand extends towards me, "Let's go ho-"
Zayn stops hastily, dropping his hand and sighing heavily. He was going to say home, you could almost hear it.
"Let's go back to the hospital." he says weakly, taking my hand. At the moment I don't want to touch him at all, just run away.
I don't know where. Just somewhere.
Instead I let him tug me along behind him, just like I've been doing my whole life.
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We drive back to hospital in silence, the quiet hum of the radio playing in the background. The space between is fills with unsaid words and regrets. Rolling down the window, I let the wind wash through my hair and take a little bit of my worries with it.
When we get to the floor of Louis's room, we're just walking off the elevator when all hell breaks loose.
A scream cuts through the air, making me jump. Zayn instinctly wraps an arm around me and draws me closer, eyes looking out for any danger.
"HELP!" Harry shrieks, bursting out of Louis's hospital room. The door flies back so hard, it nearly gets knocked off its hinges.
Harry runs at us, curls disheveled and dark bags under his eyes. But there is panic on his face, pure and dark and uncontrolably. Shivers race up my back. Something's terribly wrong.
"Whoa mate." Zayn exclaims, grabbing Harry's shoulders "Calm down."
Harry balls up the front of Zayns tshirt and slams him against the closed elevator doors, "LOUIS'S HEART MONITOR STOPPED! WHERE THE HELL IS A NURSE IN THIS GOD DAMNED HOSPITAL?!"
Harry's screaming, spit flying out of his mouth and veins prominent in his neck. He's shaking Zayn so hard, his teeth must be rattling. His shouting and hollering and begging for help. For Louis. What's wrong with Louis?
In that moment, several doctors and nurses suddenly come down the hall, looking concerned.
"We just got the alert that your friends heart rate has spiked dangerously low." a nurse huffs as she rushes past.
The lobby is suddenly a hustle of people running around, shouting and medical equipment being shoved over.
In the commotion, I get separated from Zayn. Not that it matters, my feet are frozen in place, whole body locked up.
His heart stopped? But he's in a coma, not dying. They never said that. It's not supposed to happen.
The room is spinning around me, faster and faster. I press my hand against the wall, pushing back at the rising fear clawing at me. I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna be so very sick.
Louis's hospital bed gets wheeled past me, surrounded by doctors and people shouting out medical terms. He looks so small and fragile among all those people. If they're not careful, he might get hurt.
Under the fluorescent light his skin looks pale. His fringe has fallen over his eyes, it bothers me. I need to brush it off, but theyre are wheeling him away from me and down the hall.
That's when it hits.
"LOUIS!" I scream, his name ripping through my throat and piercing the air. I scramble after him, blindly running into people and pushing them aside.
"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO HIM!" My feet are in charge now, my mind is elsewhere. There are too many people around me and it's all too much.
I curse at life. I scream at the world, because it's all their fault. I blame them, everyone and everything.
It's not fair, it's in no way or shape fair.
I suddenly remember something Louis told me a while ago.
"Life's not fair. So what?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders for emphasize.
And I see him across the hall, on a medical table in a room. Without a heartbeat.
YOU ARE READING
Twisted Friendship
Fanfiction"Growing up, I was always told to surround myself with good people, yet here I am with you." ------------ (warning this was my first ever fanfic and it is very predictable and cliche and bad and doesn't display my current writing ability. Liter...
