Pastel Princess ~ Joshler ~ boyxboy ~

.:1:.

*Tylers POV*

"Tyler! We're leaving now! We'll be back in a few, love you honey!" Mom called out to me.

"Okay bye mamma! Be safe!" I shouted as I heard the door close. Right after the door shut and I heard the car take off I immediately headed to my sisters room.

Both of my brothers are currently out right now and my mom is with my sister shopping for homecoming dresses. And dad just isn't home... Like always.

I walk into my sisters room and look through the closet. I go to the very back and pick out the baby blue skirt that I bought "her".

The other day me and Ryan went to the mall, and ended up in forever 21... By accident. I decided "hey.. I should like totally buy my sister that skirt!"

"Umm Tyler. You're such an amateur gay. That is obviously not your sisters style. And that color definitely does not compliment her figure." Ryan said rolling his emo eyes at me.

Ryan is my best friend and he knows everything about me. In fact, him and his boyfriend, Brendon are the only ones who know about my sexuality.

My whole life I knew I was different, but not "different". Because in my eyes I'm not Different. I am Tyler Joseph. I love who I am. I love wearing skirts, I love men, and I love playing the ukulele.

But it's hard to be excepted. Especially when you live in a family full of Christians. I wish being excepted didn't matter. I wish I could wear a skirt and not give a shoot what anybody thinks of me. But if you can say that, then you are straight up lying.

I start to pull down my skinny jeans which takes a solid thirty minutes, and step into the skirt. I slide it onto my hips and stare at myself in the mirror. I smile so wide you can see the gums of my teeth.

There's a happiness that you can't describe that occurs when you do something that you love. That thing may be forbidden or unwanted, or it could be something that your whole family knows about and supports. I twirl around in my skirt as my cheeks start to heat up. I've never felt that I was a girl. I've never felt that I was anything, but I'm fine with identifying as a male. Just a super feminine male.

I realized I was too caught up in my skirt when I heard a booming voice shout my name. "Tyler!"

My eyes grew wide as I instantly panicked. Oh god oh god oh god. What is dad doing home?

~

    7:35 AM the next day.

    I hear the door open as somebody calls my name. It sounds like Ryan. I can barely hear as I'm sitting in the bathtub drowning in my tears.

    Dad has never beat me before. Maybe verbally, or a slap hear and there, but never to the point where I black out. I thought mom would be on my side. I thought she would be pissed at dad, he'd be gone for a few months (again) and she would comfort me. But that's not what happened. When I woke up I was not comforted. I was scolded for being a "faggot" like my Dad also said multiple times. The funny thing is that I could have saved myself from all of this pain. But I didn't. I didn't deny the fact that I'm gay. I didn't deny the fact that that skirt brought me so much joy. I'm just tired. I'm tired of hiding.

    "Tyler! Where are you?!?" Ryan called out. I groaned in response as he came rushing in the bathroom.

    "Oh my god! Tyler! Oh god. It was your dad wasn't it. Oh god. When I see him in gonna beat the shit out of him! You look like a zombie. You look like you're in so much pain! Come on I'll ta-"

"Ryan" I said barely above a whisper. "I'm fine. I can't exactly move and get out of this bath tub, my whole family hates me, including my siblings, and I'm going to a Christian church camp to "pray" the gay away. But besides that I'm fantastic!" I plastered on the fakest smile that I could.

    "Oh my god Tyler. I'm so sorr- wait. A church camp?!? For how long?"

    "Oh you know until I'm "cured". So I would say probably... About... The rest of my life." I answered sarcastically.

    "God Tyler. I don't know what to say. Honestly I should probably get to school since I can't miss any more days, but do you want me to stay?"

    "No Ryan I'm fine. You can just leave. I'll be totally fine."

    "Wait what about school? Will you come back? What will I do with out you?" He questioned.

    I chuckled, well at least someone cared. "The camp I'm going to is called Twenty One Pilots. It functions as a place for LGBTQ+ kids, and also a school for them as well. I don't think I'll be seeing you in a while Ryan, but I promise you that we will keep in touch."

    Me and Ryan said are good byes, and he even cried a little, and then he left. Not gonna lie I cried a lot after he left. I'm gonna miss him.

    ~

    Nobody talks to me anymore. They all look at me like I'm a disease. My sister through away the skirt I wore , and she didn't even touch it because she didn't want to get contaminated.

    All my suitcases were packed and my mom was waiting for me in the car.

    I stared at my family as they all looked at me. Like they didn't recognize me.

    "Umm w-wel-"

    "Don't you fucking talk you faggot! Get the fuck out, your Mamas waiting. You disgrace!" My Dad explained.

    I wanted to cry so bad. I just wanted to break down on that floor and cry my heart out. But I'm Tyler Joseph. And I'm stronger than that. So I put a huge smile on my face, grabbed my remaining suitcases from the floor, and  exited like a pro.

    But then I went back in for a dramatic affect. "Oh wait I forgot something." I pulled off my sweatpants which revealed one of the skirts I bought for my "sister". I pulled it down a little and straightened it out, and then skipped (yes skipped) out to the car. Well this is gonna be a blast.

    ~