2 days. We've only been here two days and Nash has displayed that he can't help himself. To wake up at 3 in the morning and not be able to find the only person you were here with is scary. He was completely fucking gone with out a trace.
It was kind of weird because we were having a pretty good time. He was drawing on the couch just like yesterday and we were eating really good Chinese food from the place down the street.
Looking back to all the times he'd suggested We go to the club leads me to believe that's where he went. Calling him's so use because he won't answer.
The front door clicks and I look over the balcony to see Nash walking in. He doesn't look drunk from here.
He leans on the door with his head back and eyes closed. Almost like he's exhausted. When he opens his eyes, even from here, I can see that they're an electric blue. But they look mildly irritated. As I walk to him he doesn't take notice.
"Dude," My voice makes him look over but not retaliate. I roll my eyes. I've dealt with this a lot but that was when we were doing it together.
"Couldn't help yourself, could you?" He shrugs, pushing himself off the door and walking past me.
Something tells me he's not drunk but I can't shake the feeling that somethings wrong. I follow him to his room and watch him get ready for bed.
"I didn't do anything I wasn't supposed to, Cam." He assures me and I already knew he didn't. Nash slips his shirt off from over his head and takes a breath, standing there with his hands still tangled in his tee.
"I had the bottle in my hand. I was gonna take it down straight!" It's not a good thing to hear that he had intentions to do these things and be irresponsible. If he had I honestly wouldn't have known what to do.
He shakes his head like he's ashamed of himself but I don't think he should be. He avoided a bad situation on his own. I watch as he walks over with almost a pout playing on his lips.
He lays down and fiddles with his fingers. The calm aura of this moment is the polar of opposite of what I expected to do when he'd gotten here. Maybe yell a little. Hit him. I don't really know.
"I felt her watching over me today." After a couple of minutes he speaks these words and it surprises me. "I was so close to just downing that bottle and getting drunk off my ass. Then I thought about her. And you know, even though she's up there...I still feel the need to be a big brother."
"You are and always will be." I confirm. Losing Ocean was tough on him.
He always felt that he'd never be a brother anymore. He'd no longer have a sister to take shopping or beat her boyfriends and things like that.
"You did the right thing tonight."
"Yeah..." Silence and the quiet sounds of our breathing is heard for a few moments until he speaks in his tired voice. By now he's playing with my fingers and I don't mind.
"I just don't want to let her down. I need to be with her again." His worrying makes my body ache eternally because he doesn't deserve it.
So I just hold him and hug him the best I could so he'd go to sleep knowing that I'm here for him. That he's not alone.
