Only Ever You (Jaythan)

Chapter 3

Another three days. I was getting thinner and thinner. You could easily count my ribs. But I kept thinking of reasons Natalie dumped me.

Fat. Ugly. Pathetic. Weak.

So I kept starving myself and I kept myself awake at night, crying.

Finally, the door to my room opened.

Light from the hallway flooded the room. My pupils dilated and I felt a headache coming on. I hissed.

The boys all stood in the doorway with a locksmith behind them. We sat in silence, staring at one another.

Jay ran to the bed. "Oh my Christ on a bike! Nathan, what are you doing to yourself?" he cried, feeling my thin, pathetic body.

The boys started to come into the room. I began crying again. They froze, unsure of what to do.

Jay pulled me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, seeking out comfort and help.

I heard the locksmith leave.

"We should get him food, yeah," Tom said. I heard his footsteps, and the boys following him.

Jay held my head in his hands. I couldn't bear to look up at him. He was probably ashamed of me, mad at me for what I'd done to myself.

"Why?" he croaked out.

"I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm stupid. Nobody cares about me," I sobbed.

"Nathan!" His voice was sharp and made me cringe. He immediately softened his tone. "That's not true. You're not fat, you're not ugly, and you're not stupid. We all love you, Nath."

"Then why did she cheat on me?"

He didn't have an answer. He just said, "Let's get you showered. You smell like sweat and salt."

I tried to stand but found myself too weak to accomplish such an action. Jay ended up carrying me to the tub.

He helped me strip to my boxers and settle me into the hot water. It stung. He helped scrub me clean and wash my hair.

He turned his back and let me change into new clothes. I did so wearily. The effort of it nearly made me collapse.

"Jay," I whispered. He turned around and caught me before I fell.

Jay carried me out and to the living room. Max, Tom, and Siva didn't ask questions. They just handed Jay a plate of bread and cheese.

He handed me the bread. "Nathan, eat this."

I shook my head.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered before stuffing my mouth with a bite of bread. He covered my mouth and nose, forcing me to swallow.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

I shook my head and managed to finish the bread. My stomach churned at this new material and decided to chuck it up. All over Jay.

I covered my mouth, eyes wide. I expected him to be angry, expected him to hit me.

He laughed.

Jay laughed.

His laugh was a beautiful noise. It was loud and carefree and just genuine happiness bottled up into one noise.

That night he showered and brought me up to his room. He lay beside me on the bed.

"Get some sleep, Nathan. You look like hell," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"Jay?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you doing all this for me?"

He opened his eyes. God, they were blue. Such a beautiful blue. "Because you're my little brother and I love you." He kissed my forehead before dozing off.

In his comforting arms, I drifted off to sleep, too.