Only Ever You (Jaythan)

Chapter 20

{A/N Can I just say, when I started writing this story, I didn't expect to write 20 freaking chapters! That's a lot! I was going to write a minific! I might do a few one shots in the near future. But I'm really happy with this story, and I hope you all like it too. Thank you for reading! Xx ~Pickles}

"What's wrong with me?" I asked, sitting in a chair in an extremely clean office.

The man at the desk looked at the papers. "Well, that's the complicated thing. Have you ever had any traumatic experiences related to physical violence in your life?"

I thought about it. "Um. I was never abused or anything. I starved myself of food and sleep, and I used to cut. To be honest, I don't know if I even stopped. I might start again."

Jay squeezed my hand. I pulled away gently from his touch, not meeting his eyes.

The man marked something. "So no family issues or abuse?"

"No."

"Did you ever suffer from extreme head injury?"

"No."

"Have you ever been diagnosed with any health problems?"

"You guys diagnosed me-"

"Other than that."

"Well, I have asthma. But that's it, I think. I once had an inflamed vocal cord or something in my throat, but I got that fixed."

"That's not the problem." The man sighed and put down his pen. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "This is very complicated."

"What?" Jay asked. He was the only one of the boys who was brave enough to ask.

"It seems that your boyfriend has some strange case of...I'm not sure. I would call it schizophrenia, but it's not."

"Explain," I requested.

"You're partly delusional and you seem to have had a couple mini panic attacks. It seems like part of your brain reacted badly to the way you treated your body. That neglected part of your brain is now making you feel different illusions, such as a fear of being touched, or magnitude of sound."

"So what do I do?"

"I would give you medicine, but I'm not sure as it's schizophrenia and if I give you that medicine it could end badly. Treat your body wonderfully. Nutritious food, hardly any sugar, no alcohol or drugs. Get enough sleep, and do not cut yourself. We'll see if that helps. If not, come back to me in a couple weeks."

I stood up and shook the man's hand. "Thank you, sir."

We left the hospital and went home.

I sat on the couch, with the boys around me.

"Okay. Remove any sharp objects from Nathan's reach," Max suggested. "Just to be sure."

"You'd better stay off of social media for awhile," Siva added. "Just to make sure you don't get tempted to cut."

"Remove alcohol from the place," Jay said.

"WHAT?!" Tom and Max chorused.

"He's right. I might be tempted," I agreed.

"Fine," Tom grumbled.

"And hide the medicines we have," I added.

"Okay. Jump to it," Jay said. Tom, Max, and Seev stood and got to work.

Jay tried to touch my arm. I backed away slightly and he dropped his hand. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry. I want to touch you. Just...part of me feels like it hurts and I'm trapped," I confessed.

"We'll start small and see if we can get rid of the fear." Jay gently laid his hand on top of mine.

I sucked in my breath. It felt like my hand was burning. I closed my eyes and fought my brain. These are fake pains. It's not real.

The burning sensation drifted away and I felt Jay's warm hand instead of a blistering fire. I smiled at him in triumph. His eyes lit up and he leaned in, then realised what he was doing and stopped.

I lost focus and my hand burned again. I pulled away.

"That was better!" Jay said, smiling.

I grinned and nodded. "I hope we can do this, Jay. I don't want therapy or anything, but I want to get better."

"I'll do whatever I have to. Just get well soon, Baby Nath."

I wanted so bad to lay my head on his strong chest. But I knew my brain wouldn't like that and it would hurt. I sighed. "I love you, Jay."

"And I love you, Nath."

I closed my eyes and leaned back, willing my demented mind to leave me be.

{A/N I found out that schizophrenia actually isn't multiple personality disorder. It's different. Fact of the day!

So I'm being dragged out on a road trip. You know what that means...time to write, hardly any to update. :( It's only ten days, and I'll try to update when possible. In the meantime, help me reach 3K reads! :D Thanks for reading guys! Xx ~Pickles}