White Lies and Music Notes

Chapter Ten

"Leah." He took hold of my arm and spun me around. I had no choice but to look at him. "Leah, what is WRONG with you?"

"I could ask you the same." I said, bitterly. "Why did you treat me like I had just gone and broken your heart, when all I did was look at a guy! And then you listen in on a conversation and act as though NOTHING is WRONG. Can you explain to me, why you were so mad at me in French?"

There was a long pause, where he just looked at me, his face expressionless. "No." He said finally. "I can't tell you why I was mad at you in French. I guess I was just... I don't know. I feel like - never mind." And with that he just stormed off, leaving me with more questions and no answers.

"Thanks, Ashley." I knew he could hear me, even though he had turned a corner, he was still in earshot. "Thank you for caring about me. I guess I over-reacted. I just... I can't loose you." And then I walked into my room. Oh, god. Why do I always have to have the last word? Why can I not just accept that he just wanted to leave me hanging, instead of the other way around?

Because you're insecure, a little voice said at the back of my mind. You want a steady life, and it's not happening...

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I raced back into my room, completely ignoring Melanie and Taylor. They were speaking to me, but I couldn't hear them. I just stared at them. Taylor shook me, trying to get my attention. Melanie was telling Taylor to move away. Then Taylor started screaming, but her words were only a blur. I knew she was trying to help me. Trying to comfort me. What the hell is wrong with me? What is happening? But the only person that could do anything, was Roxanne.

"Leah," she said in a calm voice. "Leah, I need you to listen to me. Take my hand." She stretched out her hand and I took it. "Well done, Leah. Now follow my actions." She stretched a hand in the air. I couldn't see her clearly, everything was a blur. What was she doing that for? I still copied her action. She took a step to the side, I did so, too. Then she began walking to my bed. I copied. She told me to lie down. I did.

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I woke up, my hair sticking to my face, wet with sweat. Memories of the night came back to me. What had happened to me? I remember Roxanne being able to get me to lie down. It was a blur but I remember them discussing what they should do. Then some adult came in and took my temperature, my heart beat. Then I was taken away to some room where I was all alone. Someone, at some point, must have taken off my boots, my jacket and my jumper, for now I was only in a T-Shirt and the jeans I wore the day before.

I got up, suddenly feeling very hungry. I looked at the clock, hanging on the wall, but I was unable to see the time as it was still dark outside and I couldn't find the light-switch. I started pacing around the room, trying to make sense of what happened. I had never felt like that before. Like my whole world was black. It frightened me.

I left the room, in hope of finding the kitchen to get some food, but then I remembered - I'm not at home. I can't just go to the kitchen and eat as I please.

And still, I kept walking, not sure of where to go. I walked down hallways, through the gym hall, up staircases, still unsure of where I was. Everything was dark, and everything looked the same. I started walking down a corridor and realised these must be the dorm rooms. I found mine - Number 254 - and knocked, hoping Roxanne would be awake, and would talk to me about what had happened and would help me to make more sense of things.

The door opened and there stood Matt. What the hell? What was he doing in my room? He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and blinked at me.

"Leah? Is that you?" He squinted through the darkness. "What are you doing here?" He hissed.