Chapter Twenty-three

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'And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you...'

The hot water ran down my back, numbing any feeling I had. I don't know why, but the only thing I could think of, was the words to that stupid song. And then, I just sang the song, I really didn't like. But it felt like it was the only thing I could do. Sing.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I walked out of the bathroom, still humming the tune. Looking up, I could see Melanie and Taylor hiding something behind their backs. I didn't even bother to ask what it was, they wouldn't tell me anyway. I grabbed my jeans and a jumper and pulling them on, before leaving the room and going to the stables.

"Hey boy!" I mumbled before slipping into his stable. "Hi!" He turned his head, and when he saw me, he stuck his nose in my face.

"So, boy. We have to go home tomorrow. But, guess what happened today? I got a guitar! Mum and Dad got me a guitar!" Harris stepped back and gave me a strange look, as if he was saying 'so what?'. I let out a soft chuckle, before getting serious again. "I did it again, Harris." I whispered in his ear. "I lied again. You see, Roxanne asked me about home, and I thought I had to keep it up. So I said I had a swimming pool. Just a 25 meter one, not a 50 meter pool. And then, she told Melanie and Taylor, who asked me if I had anything else they should know about, and I just told them that we had a gym, and a carousel, but nothing else. This is getting worse, Harris. That one stupid lie is getting bigger and bigger." I could hear the school bell ring in the distance, signalling dinner. "I gotta go, boy." I rubbed his face. "See you tomorrow, we're going to go home." I smiled and then turned, to leave.

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"Leah, do it!" Melanie groaned. They had spent the whole Monday, trying to persuade me to go and do that stupid audition. "Do it, for us?" That was probably the tenth time she said that.

"Look guys, she doesn't want to do it, so stop trying to make her." Matt said, as he started walking next to me. He wasn't the only one who had had enough of their constant comments. I shot him a grateful smile. I was beginning to let my emotions come back. The emotions I felt for him, right on the first day. I had tried to shut them out, but with every day that passed, between Matt and I, the barrier was coming down, and my old feelings were coming back.

"So how's...Jack?" Matt made a habit of asking me everyday, and it was starting to get on my nerves. But today, I decided to stamp my foot on the brakes.

"Oh, I broke up with him." I said, not making a big deal of it.

"What?" Matt was startled, "Why did you break up with him?"

I shrugged, trying to think of why I might break up with someone. "The long distance wasn't working. My old...feelings for him...were dimming." I stumbled over my words, but I hoped it wasn't obvious. "He was fine with it, I guess. We both said we found someone else." Images of Eric filled my mind. Yes. I definitely did find someone else.

"Oh?" Matt said, giving me a cocky grin, "and who might that be?" He placed and arm around my shoulder. Having Matt putting his arm around me wasn't anything new, for me. I thought it was just an act of friendship.

I shrugged, not sure of what to say. I wouldn't tell him about Eric. My friends only knew because...well, they're my friends.

"So..." Matt said, suddenly looking around everywhere, fiddling with his shirt. Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but was Matt being...nervous? "Um, do you want to...like...hang out...with the guys..." He trailed off, not being able to look me in the eye. Aww, Matt was kinda cute when he was nervous.

"Sure." I said, skipping off to Physics, closely followed by Melanie and the others.

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"I still can't get that stupid F major cord!" I complained to Lucy. "I can do most of the others, but, ugh, it's just that one!"

"Hey, calm down, it takes time! You just gotta keep practicing." She reassured me, whilst moving my fingers into the right place on my guitar. "Okay, strum!" In one smooth motion, I let the plectrum sweep over the strings, making a very clumsy sounding noise. I sighed. This was pointless.

"This is pointless." I said, frustrated that I couldn't do it.

"Look, Leah. You've been playing for, maybe, four days? It took me almost a month to crack the cords like G major and A minor, and that was WITH lessons, but you've got them already! You are going to be an amazing guitarist, you've just got to believe in yourself, okay? You CAN do it!" He enthusiasm was contagious, and I immediately felt better. "Look, I need to go now, but let me know if you need anymore help, 'kay?" I nodded as she left the dorm.

I decided to give up of F major for a while and searched my phone for the chords for 'Fix You'. When I couldn't find decent ones of that, I randomly searched a song, and come up with 'The man who can't be moved". After around ten minutes of playing and singing, there was a soft knock on the door. At first I didn't hear it, but as the person grew impatient, the knocks grew louder.

"Come in?" I said, muting the strings with my fingers. The door creaked open and there stood Matt. I quickly swung my legs off of my bed and placed the guitar away.

Matt's gaze landed on it, as he asked, "Since when do you play guitar?"

"Since...just a few days..." I said, feeling really self-conscious.

"Wow, you're pretty good for just a few days!" He complemented, making me blush. "I should send Chris up here, he plays guitar, but he didn't bring his. You wouldn't mind, would you?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't mind, but....who's Chris?" Hey! Don't laugh! It's a big school! Just 'cause I've been here for almost four weeks doesn't mean I know everyone!

"The guy we hang out with?" He said. Yeah, I was starting to hang out with his mates more and more. "The guy with blond hair, and the earring?" He pointed to his left earlobe. Okay, okay. Maybe I should have known earring-dude was called Chris. He's always just been earring-dude to me.

"Yeah. Send him up!" I said. "But it's not my fault if he gets caught." I smiled as Matt sat next to me. The school rules were very strict, if you were caught in the other gender's quarters, then you got a week detention. The second time meant two weeks detention, and a third week meant a call to parents and detention. Although the rules were strict, nobody ever checked on us, so they couldn't be sure.

"Leah...do you...um..." Aww! He was nervous again! "Do you want to...come home with me at some point...you know...at the weekend?" I froze. What? Excuse me? Matt wanted to take me home with him? For Christ's sake, I was 14 years old! What if he would try to do something...inappropriate?

"Um...well." I didn't know what to say. "Matt, are you asking me as a friend or as more?" I had to know.

"As..." He faltered and I knew he wasn't sure himself, "As whatever you want to come as." I nodded.

"I'll think about it..." Awkward, or what? Nu uh. I ain't going home with him. That would just be even more awkward than...than...I dunno what. Well, I guess now, I just need the right time to tell him.

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