White Lies and Music Notes

Chapter Twelve

"Leah?" A voice said. "Leah, wake up." It was Taylor. "Please, can we talk about what happened last night?

I groaned to her as I rolled over. "What's there to talk about?" I mumbled, still not quite awake.

"First of all, why did you come in here and have a shock attack?"

"I had a shock attack?" Suddenly I was wide awake.

"Yeah, Mrs Morris came in and said that by the way you were acting, you had had a shock and you had emotional stress or something. I think the fact that everything is changing so quickly around you, and you are changing, too, you just couldn't cope." She paused, searching for a reaction in my eyes. "So are you going to tell me why you were so upset?"

I shook my head. "It was a stupid little thing, I shouldn't have been so upset. You see, in French I was looking at Matt and then Ashley found out and was really pissed at me. And then I was just sitting with Harris in the stable and was telling him about Ashley, and then it turns out Ashley had been listening." I closed my eyes. "And then I overreacted completely."

Taylor nodded, her black fringe bobbing as she did. "Okay. It's fine, Leah. It happens to all of us. You aren't the only one who has felt like that. If he doesn't respect that, he is, WAS, a crappy friend. Hey, Leah, I don't think you noticed. While you were gone, we got some flowers to spice up the room, and we got blue curtains instead of cream. We asked Mrs Morris and she said we could paint the room if we wanted to, but we need an adult to help us. And we have to ask Professor Ironside, first, for his permission." She grinned.

"Mrs Morris? Who is she?"

"Oh right, she's the nurse."

"Ah, right."

"So anyway, after Roxanne got you to lie down, we got Mrs Morris, who then took you to the sick bay. You woke up and the rest is for you to explain." She looked at me accusingly.

"Look, it honestly wasn't what it looked like." I looked at her, trying to make her believe me.

"But you like him, don't you?" I blushed.

"Well... I hardly know him..."

"You do!" She squealed, starting to jump up and down. I nodded sadly. "What?" She said as she stopped jumping. "Why are you upset?" She bent over to me and then I couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears started falling, letting the frustration of my life before it came here get out, the sadness of my parents' break-up, the realisation that my Aunt had always been there but I didn't know, and now the fact that I was falling for someone I didn't even have a clue about...

"Shh, it's okay, Leah. Shh." Taylor hugged me as I sobbed. "Look, Leah. I have to go to class. You just stay here and sleep. I think the jet lag is taking over now."

"WHAT?" I practically screamed in her ear. "Uh uh, girl." I sprang out of bed. "I ain't missing any school!" Her eyes went wide as I flew around the room, pulling on clean clothes, while brushing my hair, and as I brushed my teeth at the same time as putting on mascara. I was done in less than one minute. "Let's go!" I said as I pulled her out of the door and towards the classroom.

"Um, Leah? Where are you going?"

"Biology. Now hurry up!"

"Leah, stop! Biology is THAT way." She pointed behind us. I groaned. We ran down two flights of stairs, along three corridors and past countless doors, and then we finally arrived at Biology. As we burst in, I already had my excuse ready.

"Ah, Leah Withington. So you joined eventually joined us then, did you? Taylor. Sit there." Professor Ironside pointed to an empty seat next to a nerdy looking guy. She pulled a face behind his back. "And... Leah, sit there." He pointed to the seat next to Melanie - the only other empty seat. I sighed with relief, as I sat next to her.

"Why are you here? You had a sick note, you weren't meant to come!"

"I know, but..." I pointed to a light brown haired guy in front of us.

"Eric? You like him?" I nodded. There was no point in denying it.

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After class, I was walking along the corridor with Melanie, when Eric and some of his mates started approaching me. I smiled a friendly smile, but Eric just stared at me. No, he stared THROUGH me. My face dropped as he just walked past me, completely ignoring my existence, as if last night never happened. I turned my head behind him, wondering if he was just joking. But there wasn't really anything to joke about. I gulped. I was stupid to ever think I could get him.

"Hey, Leah? What's up?" It was Matt. I looked at him. His eyes were trying to make me squirm, but I just stared back at him.

"What do you want, Matt?" I sighed.

"I want some time with you." He wrapped his arm around me. I didn't even bother to shake it off. "Alone" he whispered in my ear. Any other girl would have found it amazing, smelling his deodorant and feeling his minty breath, but it just freaked me out.

"Fuck off, Matt." I said, bluntly, shoving him off.

"What? Are you sure, babe?"

"What the fuck, Matt? What gives you the right to call me 'babe'?"

"You, my amazing girl."

"I am not your girl!" I slapped him across his face. "I am not a piece of PROPERTY! How dare you!" And with that I ran off to Sport. Ugh. Matt was going to be there. And so would Eric. Just thinking about him, made my heart flutter, even though he was acting as though I didn't exist.

Why was it that Matt wanted me but I didn't want him?

And why was it that I wanted Eric, but he didn't want me?

Why was love so confusing?

And then it dawned on me - Matt likes ME. Me. Plain old Leah Withington. The girl who was a nobody back in England. That had to mean something, right? That had to mean I wasn't just a nobody. It meant I was likeable.

If I could get Matt to like me, why couldn't I get Eric to feel the same way?

And then it clicked. Matt was desirable because everyone wanted him. If everyone wanted me, I would be desirable. And then I could wrap Eric around my little finger, just like Matt did with all his girls. But what if I did it differently? What if I went out with Matt, and stayed with him longer than any other girl? Would that not get Eric's attention?

There was only one way to find out.