White Lies and Music Notes

Chapter Twenty-five

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

I rolled over in bed. The quiet tick tock of Roxannes alarm clock was driving me nuts. I couldn't see it, so I had no idea what the time was. I just lay there, noisy ending to the peaceful silence being broken by a painful tick, every second. I was begining to think I should just get up and put it in the bathroom to shut it up.

I quietly sat up in my bed, and slowly reached my hand over to Roxanne's bed-side table, and was about to pick up her clock, when her own hand shot out from under the duvet, and picked up the thing. I pulled my hand back, holding my breath, wondering what was happening. And in one elegant motion, Roxanne threw the alarm clock with all the force she could muster, at the wall, breaking it into a thousand pieces. I sighed, letting out the breath I had been holding.

I was about to turn around and go back to sleep when I heard a very quiet sob. Believe it or not, it was so quiet I could hardly hear it, in this still night. I jerked my head up looking over to Roxanne, where the sound most definitely came from. Her face was buried in her pillow, so I didn't know for sure, but when she let out another muffled sob, I was sure it was her.

This was the part where I started battling with myself. The question was, should I go to her, or not? Part of me was telling me not to go. I mean, if I was to be in that situation, I probably would have thought everyone was asleep, right? So I wouldn't want the others to see me.

But then, she must have seen me awake, when I was going to dispose of the alarm clock. And plus, a good friend would try and comfort her. I stood up, having made up my mind, part of me was still telling myself not to because she might be mad.

A bigger part was telling me to go, for selfish reasons. Maybe, I could find out, where she was disappearing off to, or what was up with Eric and when he said that crap about someone dying. I still had no idea what he was talking about.

I sat on the side of her bed and she must have felt the bed dip, as her head snapped up, and her eyes went wide when she saw me.

"It's okay Roxy. I know, you probably don't want to tell me," ugh, I pulled the guilt card, how selfish of me, "but I want you to know, I am always there for you, and you can always tell me anything." Her red blotchy eyes were still leaking water, but she wasn't sobbing anymore. I pulled her towards me, into an embrace.

"I'm sorry, Leah." She whispered. "I'm sorry about everything. I'm trying so hard to help Eric, but at the same time I'm hurting you."

Okay, now, I was confused. I frowned at her.

"What?"

"It's just..." She paused for a moment, as if she had to find the right words, "after Brooke died, things haven't been the same, but when we met you..."

"Who's Brooke, Roxy?" I said quietly.

"She's my..." She looked into my eyes, "She's my triplet, Leah." She closed her eyes and I saw more tears escape her. I hugged her tightly, feeling her staggered breath in my ear. Suddenly everything made sense. This was what Eric had spoken about in the storage room, that day. He had lost his sister. And in that moment, I couldn't think of anything worse.

"Are you going to tell me how she died, Roxy?" I whispered into her ear. I felt her nod, before she pulled away from me.

"Brooke had cancer." She said, her voice still weak, "She had it for almost three years. Over the summer, they gave her Chemotherapy and she was getting better so quickly. In fact, she was doing so well, they decided to take her off it. We thought it would be fine, we thought she would pull through. But one day, she was ten times worse than she had ever been. The hospital told us she was going to die." She choked, and for a moment, I thought she was done, but she continued, "It was the day before we came here that they told us the news. They said she would still be alive by the time we had the October holidays, but only a few days in, we got a call. Brooke died in her sleep." I nodded, my own emotion clogging up my throat. "Ever since, we tried to get on with our life, we tried to forget her. Because, part of us died with her." She had stopped crying, but I could see the pain in her eyes. "But, everywhere we look, there is a reminder for us about her. Like when we play field hockey, I always remember that she isn't there with me, in the front. With her, I had this amazing connection, and we somehow knew what the other was thinking. In English one day, we weren't allowed to sit next to each other because we always got the same mark. They thought we were cheating. But, sure enough, sitting at other ends of the classroom, made no difference." She smiled at the memory. "And I remember last year, as a dare, we rolled up all the carpets in the girls dorm corridors. Every time I walk down the hall and look at the floor, I remember her." She looked up, "She is still here, with us, sometimes. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes I think she's still here. You know, like I start talking to someone, and I can make myself believe it's Brook." She shook her head.