Is This The Real Life?

Nearly Christmas

Merry almost Christmas to those of you who celebrate it, and have a happy holiday season and a good day to everyone!

It's nearly Christmas. I'm a satanist. Oh, joy. Celebrating a holiday I don't believe in. It's the time of year where I either sung my heart out to the same three Christmas songs playing in repeat on every radio station or where I sit deep in thought waiting for Christmas to come and pass so I can get back to a somewhat normal life. No offense intended towards anyone who believes in Christmas or celebrates holidays, I just personally dislike the holidays. It used to be a fun time of gift-giving for me but not so much now that I'm older. It means spending lots of money and time with my family. I love giving them gifts and seeing other people happy, it's just that I would rather just spend my time off of school alone with music. I have to say "from [birth name] on presents and I'll probably receive women's clothing addressed to [birth name] so that always feels sooo great, right? Thanks, dysphoria and confused parents. I need some personal time away from school and everyone. I used to look forward to this time of year, now it kinda annoys me and I'm not as excited as I used to be. Sure, I love the smell of pine trees and the taste of hot cocoa and seeing other people's joy and all that, but that's because I love this season for the coldness and darkness. It's just kinda overwhelming that everyone around me is so excited for Christmas and I just feel uncomfortable that the radio stations here only play really religious Christmas songs and that's all people talk about. I kinda giggle satanically and sing along. I just decorated our Christmas tree and drank hot cocoa and I'm kinda staring to enjoy little bits of this. I'd still rather sit in the cold and dark and sing some Metallica. When I finally live on my own I might be able to just sit in a cold, dark room and wear all black and blast some good classic metal and be the antisocial emo satanist that I am on Christmases.

Love ya,
Carter
<3 ;