Chapter 4

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  "Cassie!" Reese's voice shrieked up the steps. "He's here!"
  I took one last look at my tiny writing before slipping the journal into the desk drawer. I'd tried my best to copy Cassie's handwriting, but it was still a little sloppy. I was actually enjoying the whole journaling process. It proved to be very therapeutic.
  But I'd had enough therapy for one day and so I went careening down the stairs as I imagined an excited Cassie had once done and jerked to a stop by the front door.
  Rowland Ketcher stood in the doorway, a tall, thin old man nearing the end of his life but with an energetic sparkle in his blue eyes all the same. He wore gray cotton pants and a baggy shirt, and his white-gray hair was thick and crazy.
  He was talking animatedly to Anna, and I caught bits and pieces of conversation, but I was too busy watching to listen to all that insipid noise.
  I suddenly felt like I was in a bubble, and everyone else was outside of my bubble but in a bigger one. I was simultaneously one of them and an outsider. But even more startling than my realization that everyone was in a bubble was the thought that I wanted to be a part of this. This little human family, broken and imperfect yet beautiful. This was why I rebelled, because if there really was a God it wasn't some corrupt Angel on a power trip. It was the universe, every single little string of life all webbed together. This was what the Angels didn't understand.
  Sometimes I think that I may have come off of the line miswired. I always questioned, doubted, thought for myself. It was Sin with a capital S, and because of that Sin Heaven was shattered, but there were beauty in those shards that sliced me like a blade.
  I ran over to Rowland of my own accord and hugged him, Reese sandwiched between us.
He smelled of coffee and mint, and for once I didn't mind the sensations that exploded behind my eyes. He was laughing, telling us how much we'd grown and how he had been looking forward to visiting for months.
  "Dad," Anna said, "let me take your coat. Go sit down in the living room with the girls."
  "Don't order me around young lady," he grouched, but there was a smile in his eyes. He sat down in an armchair and I on the couch. Reese ran to help Anna in the kitchen.
  "Cassie!" His voice was cheery. "How are you doing, little miss?"
  I smiled weakly. "I'm doing good, grandpa." It was a lie, of course, but he didn't seem to mind.
   "Good, good. You know, I thank God you're alive every day."
  I sat silent for a moment, looking at Cassie's hands pressed into her legs, resisting the urge to cringe at his bitter words. My voice was soft when I spoke. "But what if you found out that there was nobody  listening?"
  He blinked at me, tilted his head to the side and grinned slyly. "Oh, but you were so ill, Cassie. Maybe God isn't listening, but something is. I choose to believe that."
  'Something,' I thought bitterly, 'something like a demonic Angel hell-bent on revenge.'
Anna and Reese came into the room, Reese carrying a plate of fresh-bakes cookies, Anna a tray of hot cocoa.
  "Anna," Rowland said, as though she had done something to offend him. "It is eighty degrees outside and you make hot chocolate." He shook his head. "I see no logic in that."
   Anna smirked. "Fine then. I'll just pour your   cup down the sink-"
Rowland snatched his mug away from her before she could turn away. "Ah, no, that's quite alright. Wouldn't want it to go to waste." He took a drink, peering above the rim of his cup. "Can I have a cookie too?"
   He was very happy to receive his very own cookie and dunked it into his cocoa.
  I spent the afternoon talking and laughing, as real people do, and I forced a plate of food down my throat at dinner, as the real Cassie would.
  Anna made the half hour drive into town to do some shopping, and I was sitting next to Reese on the porch. Rowland was reclining on a wicker bench, smiling. He always seemed to be smiling. Reese smiled at me with excitement in her eyes. "Cassie, do you remember the lake? We'd always go swimming in it as kids. Maybe we can go out there?"
   I glanced uneasily through the trees. "I...I don't think that is a good idea."
  She groaned and punched me in the arm. "Come ooooon. We haven't been there in ages."
  "Yeah, but Reese-"
  "But what?" She narrowed her blue eyes at me, swinging her legs. "Are you scared?"
  "No, I just don't think it would be wise to...to go...without anyone."
  She turned around. "Grandpa, Cassie and I were going to go out by the lake, want to come?"
  He stood with more speed than I would have imagined a frail, elderly man could possess. "Adventure! Onward!"
   And just like that, I was being dragged by the hand towards a literal Hell, into the forest where I was sure awaited a vengeful fallen Angel.   The air in the forest was still, dark, and fog wound itself around every tree. The ground sloped gently downward towards the lake, and where it was only a few inches of muddy, leaf-choked water trees dug in their roots. The lake water was dark blue and completely still, with mist hovering just above the surface. It was hauntingly beautiful.
Rowland began inching his way toward the shoreline and Reese flew past him until the water was up to her knees.
   "Reese," he called, "don't go too far. Your mother most likely doesn't want you coming home soaking wet." He grinned. "But, I'm not your mother so I could care less." He bounded in after her, and I hung hesitantly behind.
   "Cassie!" Reese bobbed up and down. "It's freezing! Hurry up!" I waded in slowly. Water crept up to my ankles, and I froze.
   It looked like a shadow, swimming under the surface, circling around us. It was close to Rowland.
  Then I heard it. That infernal scratching against my skull, Nicolai's bloody, bubbling laugh.
  The shadow shot toward Rowland.  He went under.
  Whatever hesitation I had felt about going in vanished as I raced in after him. Reese was farther out, the water pressing against her collarbone, and she seemed curiously unconcerned. She thought Rowland was just playing a game, but I knew better.
  I was ready to dive into the water when Rowland popped up again, gasping and coughing water. "I'm okay!" His voice was raspy, like there was water in his lungs. "I must-" He broke into a coughing fit, "-have slipped."
  I waded out as Reese came paddling in to help get him to shore, although we couldn't touch the ground and he could, so we weren't much help. His cough was persistent, wet and rough,and he wheezed with every breath. I began to worry he would drown even out of the water.
  Looking back as he leaned against me, I saw Nicolai standing at the edge of the lake, cackling silently. Its (for I refuse to acknowledge that Nicolai had a gender based on the fact that Angels didn't have genders and demons weren't worthy) white eyes glowed like twin lamps in the setting sun, and its back was abnormally round, backbone gleaming. Its legs looked more dog-like than human, and its arms were disproportionately long. Water ran down its greasy black hair in thick streams, trickling in and out of its mouth.
  Rowland was coughing and wheezing profusely at this point, so I sped up and didn't look back.
  But I heard it laugh.

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