We had a giant test on calculating volume today. I couldn't concentrate because that UNCIVILIZED GORILLA was literally praying outloud! She was like:
"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME TO PASS THIS TEST! I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT SNOOZING IN CHURCH LAST SUNDAY AND IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. ALSO, CAN YOU TELL ME IF THE FORMULA FOR THE VOLUME OF A CYLINDER IS πr2h OR πhr2? AND, WHEN YOU CALCULATE A SPHERE, DO YOU MULTIPLY THE...?"
OMG! She kept BLABBING on about the easiest questions!
The best part is, if I get a good grade on this test my parents might let me have my electronics again.
At the end of class, I started giving her the evil eye to get her attention. Then I went up to Jessica and was like, really loud, "Today is the last day to enter the avant-garde art competition, and I have to take my entry form down to the office. I'll meet you at my locker, Okay, hon?" I was totally teasing that girl for totally chickening out because she knows I'm a better artist than her. I'm soooooo popular!
Jessica stared at her and said really loud, louder than me, "Mac, I just KNOW you're going to win first place. Your fashion illustrations are SO um... BOOTYLICIOUS!"
I totally FREAKED when Jessica said 'bootylicious.' That's like, more ANCIENT than YESTERDAY! But I'd deal with her later. I flipped my hair and sashayed out of the room.
I met Jessica at my locker and was applying my sixth layer of lip gloss when Jessica came up.
"Hey Mac, what's up?"
I gazed at my beautiful reflection and said, "Nothing Jess, it's just that YOU'RE TURNING INTO A TOTAL DORK! Like that girl, um, what's her name?"
"Nikki Maxwell, and Mac, I'm totally not a dork. I thought we were like, BFFs?" She asked me.
"Um, like, who says 'bootylicious anymore? Jess, I think you need your brain examined." I sashayed to the office to give them my art form.
I was applying like my fourteenth layer of lip gloss and still bragging about my fashion illustrations.
"I spend sooooooooooooo much time on my fashion illustrations, and everyone thinks my original designs are so HAWT, and I'm going to be RICH and FAMOUS and move to HOLLYWOOD and then marry some superhot model, and then become three, no, SEVEN times more rich than I am now!" I gushed and put on more lip gloss. Then, I left to go to my locker when I saw that dork, who's name was apparently Nikki, come out of a big plotted plant inIo see what Nikki was going to do.
When she filled out a form for the avant-garde competition, I was like, oh-no-she-didn't! I TOTALLY FREAKED!
She walked out of the office and collapsed against the wall. I climbed out of the plant and sashayed to the drinking fountain like I was thirsty or something, but honestly I'd NEVER infect myself by using the water fountain. There's like, ALGAE growing on that thing! So instead I waited until Nikki walked by and then squirted water all over her. Then I was like, "OOPSY! MY BAD!" But I TOTALLY meant to do it.
THAT GIRL IS ONE SICK LITTLE PUPPY!
YOU ARE READING
Dork Diaries : Tales from an Oh-So-Fabulous Life (MacKenzie Hollister's Diary)
FanfictionWe've all seen Nikki's diary and we all know she's a dork. But what happens when MACKENZIE HOLLISTER, the most popular girl in school, has a diary of her own? Is she a dork too? Or is she just as mean?
