Dork Diaries : Tales from an Oh-So-Fabulous Life (MacKenzie Hollister's Diary)

Saturday, September 28

OMG!

WORST. DAY. EVER!

Today was supposed to be my giant birthday party, which, BTW, everyone was talking about. I'm soooooooooooooooo popular.

OMG! I was curling my hair when this giant BUG flew into my bedroom! I shrieked and went for mom!

The worst thing happened. I was like, "Mooooooooooooooooom? There's a giant, fat, ugly bug in my room and... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" One of them tried to fly into my hair.

"Honey, I bet it's just a pesky fly. It'll go away."

Then like, a hundred-zillion more came! I desperately hid for my life while my mom called an exterminator.

They pulled up our driveway in this hideous van with a five thousand foot roach on it. I'm 99% sure it blinked... and it made me feel, um, very... odd.

The guy came out of his van and knocked on our door. I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered my party!

I freaked! I started to talk to mom.

"But, Mommm! I CAN'T have my party with these horrible BUGS crawling all over! We should have had it at the country club like I wanted. This is totally YOUR fault!" I started climbing up the stairs to my bedroom. "Mommm! This party is going to be a DISASTER! My reputation will be ruined! We have to cancel it."

Mom totally ignored me. "Mom, I'm calling Jessica. She'll never believe this is happening to me..."

I grabbed my cell phone and started stomping around my bedroom and screaming into the phone.

"Jess, there's no way I can have this party now! Our house is crawling with bugs! What?... How am I supposed to know what they are? They're these big black, er... roaches or something. Some guy is here spraying, but now the house stinks! It STINKS, Jess! How can I have a party with the house STINKING! I BEGGED Mom to let me have my party at the country club! Lyndsey's mom let her have her party at the country club. But NOOO! Getting my mom to do anything these days is like pulling TEETH!"

Then suddenly, this little brat came in my room!

"OMG! Jess, there's a little KID in my room! ... How would I know? She appeared out of nowhere. I've told Amanda a million times my room is off-limits to her and her pesky little friends. Hold on..."

"MOM...!! Amanda and her friends are playing in my room again! Would you please do something...?!"

"Okay, Jess, I'm back. If they so much as touch my makeup again, I swear, I'm going to strangle..."

"Don't you dare touch me, you, you... WICKED tooth fairy!" The little kid screamed so loud I thought my eardrums were going to burst.

"Hold on a minute, Jess..."

"WHO told you I was the tooth fairy? WHAT are you doing in my bedroom? And WHERE is Amanda?!!" I screamed back at her.

"You can't have my tooths! NEVER!" The little brat shouted. WHO in their RIGHT MIND would think that I, MacKenzie Hollister, was the TOOTH FAIRY?

"MOM!! AMANDA!! Hold on, Jess. I have to get rid of this little kid. Then I'm going to KILL Amanda! Okay. Outta my room, right this-"

She rudely interrupted me, like that rude girl, Nikki Maxwell. "STOP!" She screamed. "Let go of me! I LOVE my tooths!"

You won't believe what she did next. She KICKED ME! HARD!

"MOM! I've just been attacked by a demonic munchkin! OMG! I think I'm bruised! I can't wear my new Jimmy Choo flip-flops with a big bruise on my leg!"

I picked up my phone again. "Are you still there, Jess? I can't have my party like this. I've got a bruise the size of a pankake. NO! ... I didn't get bruised by a pancake! I said... Hold on...!"

I went down the stairs. limping. "MOM! Last week Amanda and her friends put gum in my hair and colored with my lipsticks! Now one of them just kicked me in the leg and gave me a GINORMOUS BRUISE! Mom, I can't wear my Jimmy Choo flip-flops to my party today! Speaking of that, we have to cancel!"

Mom came to talk to me. "Honey, we can reschedule. Go call your friends."

And she walked off! Like, who does that?

I finished up my call with Jess and then called the other CCPs. Like, omg! I rescheduled for October 12th, and, because of all the drama, my parents FINALLY let me have my party at their country club. Now I need to think of a convincing lie to tell everyone...