He trailed kisses down my bare neck, a shot of electricity shot down my spine. I gasped as his fingertips touched my hip, I knew where this was going, my wolf was yelling at me to go with him but I knew it was wrong I didn't even know his name. He tugged on my shirt wanting it off me, I broke the kiss and ran out of the room.
Tears streamed down my face as I closed the door behind me, I was sitting in his large walk in wardrobe, leaning against the door. My eyes were swimming in tears as I cried I didn't want him to think I didn't like him because my wolf obviously did and I didn't want to loose it to someone I don't even know.
"Emery, I am sorry." he said knocking on the door. I felt him slide down back against the door waiting for me to open the door, or even waiting me out like an alligator waits for its prey that is hiding in the tree above. I felt trapped and alone, I felt like I was going to die and then get eaten or something terrible. My eyes started to water again as his heart beat pounded through the door. you stupid girl go back to him, apologise and then you can get back to what we were doing no wolf I don't want to have it with someone I don't know, he is amazing but crazy and I don't even know what I am meant to do. I buried my head into my arms and started to cry again.
"Emery, I am sorry for what I was doing it was out of line and I just" he sighed and walked off leaving me crying. I stretched out letting the tears fall onto the carpet, with my back against the door I closed my eyes wishing I could have changed when I was at home. When I was meant to, I hate this wolf thing I don't want this anymore.
I rose from the floor feeling the pain swell inside unable to escape, I creaked the door open seeing nobody in the room I lept for the door only to be disappointed, locked, and I ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. The pain built up so much inside me I couldn't hear my wolf, my eyes caught on the bath in the corner and I couldn't help but run the water. The water gushed out of the tap into the large white spa bath, I pored some of his body wash in and watched the bobbles form.
My curiosity got the better of me when I started looking through all the cupboards, finding pills razors, an iPod, speakers, hair wash, tooth brushes, toothpaste. I took the hair wash and placed it next to the bath and plugged the speakers into the iPod which luckily enough didn't have a lock code. I searched through the iPod finding plenty of music that I would listen too but then I found my song, River Flows in You the instrumental and put that on repeat along with a playlist I made up calling it "Mine".
I sighed listening to it remembering my life as it flashed through my mind, I undressed ad lowered myself into the toasty warm bath. My body relaxed but the anger still roared inside me, the pain was almost exploding and I felt like I needed to let it go. I looked at my bare legs, concentrating on trying to relax and release the pain but my body only got worse.
Tears streamed down my face, every tear that fell down my face was like needles every touch a bobble made to my legs felt like someone was stabbing them again and again. I forced my eyes close trying to harness the pain that swirled around my body. I rubbed my legs trying to make them go away and leave me be. The pain dug deep into my body and I could barely hold my moan in, tear after tear was falling with no way to stop it.
The pain fell away as I began to hear my wolf again she was crying, Emery what have you done to yourself she cried. I looked down at my legs, the blood streamed down my legs, the red bobbles floated on top of the tinted red coloured water. I froze in shock looking at the razor in hand, I threw the razor as far as I could, and it hit the wall and fell to the ground.
I felt my eyes starting to cry as I tried to scrub the cuts away, my breathing got quicker as I couldn't scrub them away. I put my face into my tainted red hands, feeling my blood run out of my body. I listened to the music trying to calm myself down enough to handle the problem I was faced with. I pulled the plug and watched as the liquid flowed down the drain. The bathroom was somehow covered in splatters of blood, I grabbed a flannel and wet it trying to clean the blood up before he saw it, my wolf was crying and wanting him to take her in his arms but I pushed her requests away.
My legs had huge cuts just below my hips that wouldn't stop bleeding, I stood on a towel trying to clean the blood off the wall where I threw the razor. It stained the white walls, I scrubbed harder but it wouldn't go away, I washed the cloth and kept trying. The tears kept falling and I couldn't stop crying. the more I cleaned and moved the more mess I made, slipping in the puddle of my own blood I landed on the floor soaked in blood, my vision became blurry and I could hear this high pitched sound.
I watched as he broke the door down, it was him, my wolf lept at the sight of him but all I could do was sit there wanting to die right there to leave this place and get away from my mucked up life. He rushed over to me and crouched down beside my naked body, the look in his eyes almost made me want to do it all over again. His eyes were almost crying he yelled something them draped a towel over my blood stained and broken body.
My consciousness was falling from my reach, I tried to hold on looking at him.
"Emery, stay with me, I need you!" he said lifting my chin, my faced dulled and I dropped my head hitting it on the hard floor making my head crack.
"Emery! Don't leave me, please, I need you, please don't leave me, please! Please!" My vision went dark and I could only fell the pain pulsing through my body and the words he was saying. I felt his breath on my neck near my ear. "Emery, I love you" was the last thing I heard before my life played in my mind.
