My Father Is Who!?

Accepted

"I don't want to go to school," I say a little loudly waking Alan up,

"You can't not go to school Alex," grumbles Alan,

"Can't I do it online?" I say "please don't make me go back to school, that place is nothing but shit," I say, and Austin blinks at my use of language, looking as if he didn't expect that

"No one really enjoys school Alex," says Austin, "I wouldn't wish what most children go through in school upon my worst enemy, believe me when I say that- I've been through it."

"Can I do online schooling?" I ask, remember hearing about Austin's incident in school where he got his head smashed against a toilet and some of his ribs broken.

"I'll see what I can do," says Austin, walking past me and messy up my hair.

"Yay thank you!" I say doing a little awkward jump with a smile on my face,

"What'd you want for breakfast kiddo?" Says Alan slidding off the bench and quickly wiping off the drool before Austin sees,

"Uhh, what's the menu?" I ask sitting at the kitchen table,

"Pancakes, pancakes and more pancakes," says Alan rustling through the cupboard for the ingredients,

"I'm gonna go have a shower while you make those," I say jogging upstairs and leaving Alan by himself, I wonder where Austin is?

I walk to his room which is at the end of the corridor and knock on his door,

"Yes?" I hear him say and I walk in and find him sitting at a table scribbling on some paper,

"What are you doing?" I ask walking over and he covers the paper with his arms,

"I'm writing music, it's confidential," he says smiling at me apologetically,

"I forgot you're in a band" I say "feels strange, but Alan is making pancakes by the way,"

"I'll be down soon, Alan makes some mean pancakes," says Austin smiling and I walk to my room where I undress and I notice the scars on my upper arm as I pass the bathroom mirror, I've been clean for a month before mum died, then I relapsed.
I look down at my thigh and see the red and raging lines, which are still really sore.
I sigh and hop in the shower where there's a packet of leg shavers sitting in the hanging basket which I had brought yesterday, and the sensation to slice my own skin comes forward and I finish my shower before I do anything stupid, I do try not to cut, I really do. Sometimes I can stop myself, others I can't, it's hard when your mum is 6 foot under and all you want is her.

"Alex, breakfast is ready!" I hear Alan say and I scuttle over to my dresser and throw on some tight red shorts with cute buttons on the top of each leg, and a of mice and men shirt, gotta show the boys support, ya know?

I walk downstairs with my hair wrapped in a purple towel and I spot 3 plates with pancakes on them, decorated with berries and cream.

"So we're starting to tour next week," says Austin who walks over and takes his pancakes and sits on the table where I follow and sit next to him,

"Where are we going? I don't have a passport," I say feeling excited but a little scared,

"We'll get that sorted, but we're just doing an American tour," he says stuffing his face with pancakes and
Alan comes over and joins us. I've never been to a concert, let alone seen or toured with a band!

"Are we talking about the tour?" Says Alan, spitting pancake everywhere, "you're going to love it, not so much being crammed into a bus with 5 smelly men, but meeting the fans and playing the concerts, that's the best part,"

"Wait, Austin have you announced who I am yet?" I ask,

"Nope, but sit still and smile at me for a second," he says, leaving me confused while he pulls out his phone and points it at me,

"You're not taking a photo of me are you!?" I say scrambling to cover my face, "I just got out of the shower and have no makeup on!"

"You look fine Alex, now pose for the camera," says Alan "here, I'll join you, and I slept on a bench last night, I don't look so princessy," says Alan making me laugh and Austin takes a photo mid laugh,

"Can I see it?" I ask leaning forward and he hands me his phone and the caption is "I'd like you to meet my beautiful daughter, Alex, who joined us yesterday and will be coming on tour with us next week." And Alan is leaning over my shoulder, where he has his fingers in either side of his mouth and his tongue sticking out, and I'm there giggling looking like a dork with berry stains around my lips and my hair wrapped in a towel,

"You don't mind me posting that, do you?" I don't want him to post it, he could have atleast waited until I put effort into my appearance, but I don't want to make him upset so I let him post it.

"Here, you can watch the fans reaction," says Austin smiling confidently.

I wait for the "she's not even pretty,"
"She's ugly,"
"Why would you even take her in" tweets, but all I see is
"She's beautiful Austin,"
"So happy for you,"
"Can't wait to meet her on tour," replies, and I'm filled with happiness- a place where I'm finally accepted for who I am.