Vero Amore (a Spencer Reid love story)

XIII

Reid's POV

We were racing our way to the hospital, following the ambulance with similar sirens sounding off in the streets. I was feeling several emotions at once. The probability of finding Natalia alive was a 1/13 chance, and we if we were five minutes late, we probably would have been too late. I was thankful that she was alive; I was relieved that we found her, but at the same time I was worried sick to my stomach that she wasn't going to make it to the hospital, and if she did survive this terrible experience, would she have the strength to want to continue?

We finally reached the hospital and I was the first one to jump out of the car. My hands and shirt were filled with her blood and the nurses nearly stopped me to see if I had gotten hurt! Don't they realize that they could be using their precious time helping the one who needed it most? I ignored the pulls and grabs and ran to the gurney Natalia was strapped onto. My heart melted and I felt weak seeing her being carried away: several doctors and nurses were running with her, explaining her story and injuries, but the only thing I saw from Natalia was the pain that she went through. She was pale and covered in wounds and blood. Oh my gosh, I think I'm going to throw up.

The team had finally caught up with me when they saw me throwing up at the entrance of the hospital. I tried to avoid their worried looks and entered the hospital again.

I spoke to the receptionist that told us to fill out paperwork for Natalia and how she's been transferred into the trauma room. Once they know more, they'll inform us.

Hotch nodded and thanked the nurse, contacting Garcia to find out all the information needed to fill out the paperwork, the rest of us waited in the waiting room. It was overall empty and quiet. The sun was finally setting and it had become pitch black outside.

It had already been two hours since we'd arrived at the hospital. Part of it felt like hours and another part of me felt as if ten minutes had passed. But again, another rush of anxiety hit me. I excused myself from the team and began strolling down the hallways.

Morgan had bought me a toothbrush after my incident and I had already washed my teeth three times, but the taste remains the same. It would have been more productive if he had bought pepto to remove the acids from my mouth, but the toothbrush was better than simply than gargling water into my mouth.

My hands were in my pockets as I walked up and down the stairs. It's a proven fact that exercise reduces stress, but I believe that all the energy I was storing kept me more relaxed than knowing that I could walk and Natalia might not be alive to walk ever again.

I was vulnerable and I didn't know what to do.

I sat down on the stairs and bent my head down, clasped my hands, and brought them closer to my face. "Lord," I began praying, my eyes shut to avoid the tears that were forming in my eyes. "Lord, please, please for yours and all of our sakes, please keep Natalia alive! Lord, I know I'm coming to you for the first time in my life, but heal her! She needs your healing!"

I was praying to a God that I didn't even believe in.

Even though I was vulnerable during that moment, I didn't know if this so-called God would even respond to my cry for help.

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It had been six hours since being at the hospital. I told everyone to get back to the hotel and rest, but they declined my offer. They said they cared about Natalia as much as I did, and that they wanted to be there for me too.

Morgan brought chairs closer to him so he could lay down, Rossi copied Morgan and Emily was resting her head on Hotch's shoulder. J.J had Morgan's jacket over her. I tried to sleep but I couldn't, my body was still so tense and filled with worry. The nurse said that she would keep us updated, but we hadn't seen her since that moment many hours before. Obviously Natalia wasn't dead; they would have informed us if that had happened.

I tried to shut my eyes, but I still couldn't sleep. My eyes were focused on the footsteps roaming around, and the heater turning on and off every fifteen minutes. I just decided to keep my eyes shut, and finally I did drift away to sleep.

▼▲▼

"Reid! Reid" I heard in the faint distance. "Reid!"

Next thing I know my shoulders were moving back and forth. I opened my eyes to see Morgan in front of me. I widened my eyes and moved back in my seat, surprised by his appearance.

"W-what's up, Morgan?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows, but quickly widening my eyes at a realization. "Is she awake? Are we allowed to see her?!" I cried out, most likely waking up patients on the twelfth floor. He smiled and squeezed my shoulder.

"We're allowed to see her now."

The biggest smile appeared on my face and I was already out of my chair by the end of his sentence. Everyone was behind me as I lead the group closer to her room, but another pull of anxiety was roaming around me, and suddenly, I stopped in place. My grin was replaced with a deep frown, and my shoulders slumped down and my eyes were glaring at the ground.

Morgan put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it again. "Are you okay, Reid?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked down at my face. I felt muted, but I simply shook my head.

"You guys go on, I'm going to... I'm going to stay back here," I told them. They all immediately furrowed their eyebrows and shook their heads.

"What are you talking about?" Prentiss asked, crossing her arms as she stared at me.

"We've been waiting here for hours and now you don't even want to see her?" Rossi asked.

"Reid..." was all that J.J could mutter. Hotch was silent and watched me.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how I felt. I didn't feel good and I definitely didn't feel well enough to see Natalia.

"Let's go," Hotch finally told the rest of the team. He nodded at me and I dragged my feet to the waiting room.

I wanted to see Natalia. I wanted to see her if it was the last thing I did. I wanted to see that she lived. I wanted to see that she was okay!

But I couldn't do it.

Because I knew that it was my entire fault. I knew that she was in this mess because I didn't cover her during the house raid. Me being 'boy genius' should have realized that we should have requested help, but I put that all aside to try and show off. She didn't want to see the person who nearly caused her death. She didn't want to see her almost murderer.

She'd be fine. She'd be happy to see J.J and Prentiss. Everyone loved Morgan so she'd probably have a smile on her face. Rossi will probably sneak in some Italian food for her to eat. And Hotch will give her praise, which is something that everyone craved for.

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12/24/15

omg. I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I had finals and my work schedule was so messed up! I also started another story so I got pretty excited about that too! I will try to update another chapter ASAP! :) Love you guys!<3333

ALSO MERRY CHRISTMAS! MY GIFT TO YOU REIDERS <333

-Vivacamila