How to Be Cliche (A Novel)

(1) Out of Sight, Out of Mind

This is a new story I decided to write. Please vote and leave feedback on each chapter if you enjoy my story! I'd really appreciate it. And most of all, ENJOY! ;) xx

Update: 10/25/13 This story is not edited and is a first rough draft. Therefore, it should not reflect my full writing potential! :)

**********

Clichés.

We love them, we hate them. Mainly, we beat our society over the head with them with pale vampires (who obviously are playing for the other team), and handsome British exchange students with abs down to their toes. Let's not forget that sleek Harley Davidson conveniently between their legs. Alpha wolves who have searched since the dino years for their mate, and are accepted by the readers alike, even though the Alpha is thousands and thousands of years old, and...well, flirting with an immature teenager. Not to mention, these Alphas grow hair on their chest and back every full moon.

I don't know about you, but I'm not brushing my boyfriends back once a month. I have enough problems with my own hair as it is.

My personal favorite was and always will be nerdy girl clichés. They always somehow end up getting the hottest guy in school and somehow outsmart the guy's ditsy, hot supermodel girlfriend, after a sudden realization (that came after over three-hundred and fifty-nine pages of them whining and crying over their best friendfalling in love with them, who was clearly the better option from the beginning), that they are in fact not ugly and fat as they originally thought they were, but drop-dead gorgeous and just what the arrogant son-of-a-bee jock wanted since birth.

Spare. Me.

Let me break this down. Our world is an endless vortex of idealism and actors that end up feigning happiness with their "perfectly hot wives and husbands" that they marry simply because it just goes with society's "Cinderella fantasy" of finding their "One True Love". Here's the thing, can one honestly assume who their One True Love is in Hollywood? Where a bunch of actors live, who play the part of someone's One True Love on television all the time? If I were a famous woman, I wouldn't stick with my own species of Margarita's and $2,800 dollar Wagyu Steaks, aka Hollywood actors. I know I'd just be looking for trouble. I, for one, would go for a cheeseburger and french-fry kind of guy, someone real.

If he happened to be rich and hot, that would just be a plus...

Unfortunately, our world continues to be backhanded and force-fed these clichés that marrying someone for looks and money, or fitness and occupation, and after a while, these clichés start to...make sense.

Women.

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Right on, sista'! Surprisingly, women are bombarded by cliché's only slightly more than men. Women are taught to pluck, brush, shave, tan, and lift parts of their body that years and years ago men found appealing no matter what they did with them. Most models are thinner and frailer than they ever were before, leading to beautiful, average and voluptuous women having a negative body image and undergoing surgeries to have bigger breasts and higher cheek bones, just to have "that look". Or even more devastating, they become bulimic or anorexic because they feel the pressure of perfection in the world around them.

What most people don't understand is that men have so, so many dang issues. Men are exposed to the outdated standard that they must supply their woman food and drink, be the dominant one in the relationship (oooh, eee, ah-ah!), and if they're successful in life, advertisements in magazines and on the television tell male's they can have the hottest women and nicest cars in the world, just by being a jackass billionaire. (Please!) These days, if men can't provide money, a yacht, and a 1000 watt smile, plus look good in a suit these, they whileswell drive one of those little kid toy cars where you have to move your feet along the ground to get the car places.