How to Be Cliche (A Novel)

(22) Balloons

 :)

*****************************************************************

                  "The smell of fear is thick in the air." Hunter smiled devilishly. "Scared, Paprika?"

                  I cautiously sniffed at my armpit. "I definitely put on deodorant, so you...thinks wrong. I'm not scared of you."

                  Hunter lunged towards me, making me clumsily trip over myself onto my face. "Liar. Wittle kitten is so scarewed." Hunter pouted. "Poor wittle baby."

                  "My shoes were untied!" I defended. "And Kitten? Do you even know what my name is, Hunter?" I scoffed, lifting myself off of the floor and put my fists up. "You're right, I'm just so afraid," I said, "come on over here and I'll show you with my fist just how afraid I am!"

                  Hunter tisked me, still regarding me as if I was a cute little kitten. "Aggression is so unbecoming in a wittle kitten looking for a good lay. Luckily, I'm a sadistic bastard," Hunter said slowly stalking towards me, leg muscles and torso muscles shifting as he walked, and dropping the baby talk altogether. "Big brother's with anger issues and mysterious scars all over their body simply love a challenge in bed. However, give me a few hard spanks and I won't be a nice little boy again, I'll spank you right back. Harder."

                  A slow flush started from my toes up as I imagined him spanking me all seductively over his knee. Good LORD, my girl!!!!! Fifty Shades of Grey called, they want you to star in their next spin off series: Fifty Types of Seasonings: Pepper Ballard! I took the liberty of taking the spot for you! Sorry, babe. Paper beats Rock. Conscious beats Pepper.

                  I moved out of Hunter's way before he could even touch me, rolling over my bed and putting it between us. "Anger issues? Anger issues just doesn't cut it for you, and you're psycho twin, Sinipher. You tried to kill me with composition notebooks and a stapler!"

                  "Hey, the past is the past, sweetheart.

                  "How ironic," I drawled.

                  "I'm sorry, have I murdered your entire family for being hunters yet?" Hunter waited for my response. "Exactly. I haven't. So you should be a little bit more respectful towards me." He then settled his hands on his hips for the longest time as I glared at him. "Ok, ok, ok! To be honest, I would have slaughtered them like cows but your parents weren't home."

                  "They're not home? Again?" My eyes dropped to the mask on my pillow. It was either they weren't home, or Hunter had killed them and buried them in the backyard while howling at the moon!    

                  "Uh, can we get naked now?" Hunter asked impatiently. "Hunter's leather pants are seriously rubbing him the wrong way. And trust me"--he arched a brow and flashed me a slanted smile--"Hunter likes to be rubbed the wrong way, Celery. So that's saying something."

                  "It's Pepper."

                  "Garlic."

                  "Pepper."

                  "Cumin it is."

                  "Ugh!"

                  " Listen, I want to make a deal with you."