How to Be Cliche (A Novel)

(20) Chugga Chugga Choo-Choo

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"My vatha and I have run zis place for years," Vladimir explained, placing my hand on the crook of his arm and continuing to ignore Grace, who had her own hand on his other arm and staring at the ground as we walked. The more I focused on his accent, the thicker it seemed to get. "Ve have established a place that iz both pleasurable for our fellow vampires, as well as for ze humans. Therefore, I decided it was my duty to make you feel just as comfortable as the rest of our guests."

                  "Uh-huh." Freaking creep! I just want to know where the exits are!

                  "And now that your friend iz gone, I feel as though it iz also my duty to watch over you in such a club, if you are simply visiting because of curiosity."

                  "I see. And has your club also been safe for humans?" I said politely, already knowing the answer from what Gary had told me.

                  "Of course," Vladimir replied swiftly.

                  "Uh-huh," I eyed his expression carefully, determining whether he was lying to me or not. Vladimir's jaw had locked slightly. According to Gary, Crave wasn't always a safe place for humans, and maybe that's what Smiley's motive was from the school newspaper interview about Smiley's him dying. Maybe he died here, and Smiley had taken Ginger's ticket to Crave to discreetly kill another -- or at least, who he thought -- was another guest at the "party" where his certain someone died.  And if I didn't know any better, I would say that Vladimir knew exactly who he was.

                   Either that, or Gary was a lying, abandoning jerk face and I wasn't the jork after all.

                  As we briefly walked through a hoard of people in the club and past a large, wrap around bar, my eyes roamed over a woman straddling a man in a leather chair and humping him like his crotch was a pez dispenser and she wanted all of the candy.

                  You'll never guess who the guy was she was straddling.

                  "Oh, baby! Do that again!" the woman cried obnoxiously, giggling like a mad woman as the man with the tight leather pants moved his mouth to her neck, cradling her backside in his large hands. Holding back my barf, I watched as Sin, Hunter Trinidad's twin brother, moved his face to the side of the woman's neck, unhinged his jaw, released his fangs, and --

                  "Hey! Hey! Psycho! Yoo hoo!"I hissed softly under my breath, trying to get his attention without disturbing Vladimir's story. The girl straddling Sin broke free from whatever trance she had been in, turning towards me and glaring. "Sin, you rat bastard! While you were getting boozed up and eating necks, your handsome brother sent me flowers, chicka." Even though I had whispered my words over the pounding music, Sin's seductive smile towards the girl in his lap almost immediately dropped, and he became fully alert. Slowly, he took the girl off of his lap and stood up, sniffing the air once.

                  Sin's lips peeled back from his teeth in a snarl, and he leaped off of the chair beneath him, starting towards me in quick, predator strides.

                  "Oh, shit," I whispered, coming to the conclusion that someone didn't like to be disturbed when he fed.